16 Brutal Truths Every New Mom Must Know and Memorize

They don't call parenting the hardest job on the planet for nothing. Luckily, we got real moms to share their best know-how to help you along the way.

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Focus on little victories


Life can feel overwhelming after having a baby. It helps to keep your focus on the positive. Nutan, mother of two, says, "It's not all going to fall into place right away. Focus on the small victories. Think, "Two whole hours of sleep!" instead of "I haven't slept all night." (Find out the baby gifts you might regret registering for.)

Breastfeeding is hard, no matter how many times you've done it


Breast is best, sure, but just because it's natural, it doesn't mean it will be easy. Rachelle, mother of three, says, "Breastfeeding is so much harder than people will admit. Spending time with the lactation specialist while in the hospital is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, if you choose to nurse. Also, just because you have successfully nursed two kids, it does not mean your third will be easy." For more need-to-know info, here's what else no one tells you about giving birth.

Let others help


To accept help from others can be hard if you're not used to depending on anyone else. Postpartum is the time, if there ever is one, to let others in. Nicole, mother of two, says, "The first month is so hard, and it's okay to ask for or accept help. You can be super mom down the road, because it does get easier."

You don't have to be perfect


New moms have a tendency to want to do all the things, all the time, perfectly. Take the pressure off of those drool-covered shoulders, Mama. Amy, mother of one, says, "You don't need to have it all together or even pretend to. The first weeks, even months, are tough. There's no shame in having a good cry!" Brianna, mother of two, agrees, "The biggest thing I had to learn after having my first was to enjoy it. It's tough and lack of sleep and anxiety about doing everything right can get in the way of you actually enjoying your little one! They grow up so fast and if you are always focused on being the "perfect mom" you are going to miss the special moments." (Find out every mom's hidden superhuman strengths.)

Make other mom friends


Friends are always important in every stage of life, but during motherhood, their importance is on another level. Ashley, mother of two, agrees: "Force yourself out of your comfort zone and find other mommy friends. They will be the life line you never knew you needed."

Maintain your sanity, your body can wait


After nine months of housing another human, your body might feel like it's seen better days. It's normal, and actually perfectly fine. Kimberly, mother of one, couldn't agree more. "There are things much more important than 'working' on your postpartum body...like maintaining your sanity! You just made a human!" When you're ready, here are easy ways to sneak in postpartum exercise.

Postpartum depression is real


Pregnancy and birth wreak havoc with more than just the body, your brain is affected greatly too. One in eight women experience postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety, reports the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, though that statistic could be higher due to the under-reporting of symptoms by women. Leanne, mother of three, says, "I didn't know it at the time but I believe I had PPD with my first two children. Knowing that, I would have let only my close family around me and not allowed the negativity of others in, even if they were supposed to be a part of my children's lives. I should have told myself that things were going to be okay and that I was enough for my babies. I'm all that they need and more." If you suspect you have PPD, don't hesitate to speak to your doctor.

Let go of your dream of the perfect birth


Most mothers imagine the births of their children long before their due date. When a birth doesn't go as planned, it can be disappointing, and for some, depressing. Letting go of your unmet expectations can be truly healing. Kellye, mother of two, says, "All that matters at the end of the day is a healthy mom and healthy baby. Throw the "birth plan" out the window and focus on the end goal: a healthy, beautiful baby."

Say no to visitors


Being new parents often means family and friends will hope to rush over to meet the new addition. For some, this can feel stressful, in addition to the enormous life change that has just occurred. Don't feel selfish taking these first moments for you and your partner to be alone with your baby. Amanda, mother of one, says, "No visitors for the first 24 hours or more. Let the nurses be bouncers and also baby holders, because you won't get that luxury at home! Ask for help—it's not a sign of weakness!" Want to help a friend with a newborn? Here's what new moms really need.

Life is about to change


Parenthood is a club that members both love to belong to and reminisce about the days when they had no idea what membership entailed. You wouldn't trade your children for the world, but you can clearly remember what life looked like before them. Julie, mother of one, shares: "Having a baby, specifically the first, is such a life-changer. One minute you're going to spontaneous dinners and weekend getaways, and the next you're sobbing in your spit-up covered robe, holding a tiny screaming stranger who is inconsolable. Meanwhile, everyone asks, "Isn't motherhood the absolute best thing that's ever happened to you?" I wish I could go back and tell myself to find support sooner from real life moms who are honest about the struggles of new motherhood."

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