If you're wondering how awesome my summer break is going, my kid just found a harmonica.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) June 29, 2016
A time for tricks
If you think Twitter has tons of people craving attention & validation allow me to introduce you to kids doing tricks in a swimming pool.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 29, 2016
I hate when I've been at home with my kids for 2 months for summer break and it's actually only been 2 weeks.
— Ash (@adult_mom) June 12, 2017
My kids are trying to start a fire in the basement by rubbing legos together, so if anyone wants to hang out, I'm free for the summer.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 6, 2017
Countdown to September
Boys-When do we go back to school?
Me-Not sure, end of August maybe?
Boys-When do we go back?
Me-Exactly 21 days 3 hrs & 6 mins.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) August 9, 2016
5-year-old: We never do anything fun.
Me: I just took you out for ice cream.
5: We never do anything fun twice in a row.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 4, 2017
By 10 a.m. on the first day of summer break, my son said he was bored. The chore list I am about to make will wrap around the Earth 3 times.
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) June 2, 2017
A new kind of camp
I'm sending my kids to a free summer camp program called GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 24, 2017
Enjoy the weather
After a long, hard winter, my kids like to take advantage of the beautiful summer weather by playing computer games in the basement all day.
— EricaTriesToTweet (@SteussieErica) June 5, 2017
How many hours?
When I think I can't take it anymore I just remind myself that it's only 1,692 hours till school starts again.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) June 12, 2017
Don’t eat that!
7yo: I got duck poop on my hand
Me: Ok, don't touch anything until we get home
*looks in back seat
7yo: *already eating crackers
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 11, 2017
It's summer & I can't get the neighbors' kids out of my house, so I told them a black widow is hiding & I haven't seen them since Saturday.
— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) May 30, 2017
Asking for prayers for a 5 year old at our local playground. His mother is being really unfair and also packed the wrong brand of pretzels.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 8, 2017
Where to hide
We Polled 100 Moms To Find Their Top 5 Favorite Hiding Spots:
5. Psych Ward
3. Inside Own Head
2. Costa Rica
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 4, 2013
Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 2, 2016
All the food
Summer is when my kids are home making up for all the barely eaten school lunches I packed the last 10 months.
— Wendy Scott (@wen_sco) June 1, 2017
Family bike ride
If you're looking for ideas, a family bike ride is another fun way to sit and listen to your kids complain for an hour.
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— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 10, 2016
My kids’ favorite summer activity is getting a cup of water, taking 1 sip before dumping it out, and leaving it in the sink for me to wash.
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 24, 2017
I wish my kid could be as quiet as I need to be when her doll is asleep.
— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) May 8, 2017
Yesterday was the last day of school. The kids have already completed the 56 activities I had planned to keep them busy the entire summer.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) May 29, 2015
7-year-old: Why don't we have a pool?
Me: We need that space for grass. We have a pig.
7: I'll teach her to swim.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 12, 2017
If you've never had to scrape perfectly delicious cheese off a hamburger, then you've never been a parent.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 1, 2016
Hide don’t seek
I now get why grandmas had padded toilet seats. They hid there. They lived there.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 5, 2017
There is no way your kid can prove you weren't watching their underwater somersault in the shallow end.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 8, 2017
School's out but I didn't tell the kids. Right now they are waiting for the bus. Should buy me a few hours.
— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) May 28, 2015
My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
— The Joker (@TheManWhoSmiles) June 13, 2017