You Won’t Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Texts from Parents

Parents master the art of the quick comeback.

Ah, parents. They’re a hoot, aren’t they? Mix in some technology, and it’s basically a comedy show. That’s why brothers Stephen and Wayne Miltz have a surplus of options to feature on their popular They even made a whole book of hundreds of funny text messages between parents and children!

Lucky for you, we included a selection of our favorite funny text messages below:
Mom: Love you, kiddo!

Me: Aw, thanks. Love you, too!

Mom: Sorry, wrong person


Me: Dad, my bank account has ten dollars in it!

Dad: Oh good, our plan to get you to contact us succeeded


Me: I was offered a job!

Dad: Accept it before they realize their mistake.


Dad: What is IDK?

Me: I don’t know.

Dad: Oh, do you know who does?


Dad: I just changed my password to “incorrect” so the computer just tells me when I forget.


Me: Lets eat dad

Dad: “Let’s eat Dad” or “Let’s eat, Dad.” Punctuation saves lives.

(Psst…make sure you’re not making any of these annoying text habits.)
Me: I love you

Mom: I tolerate you


Mom: I think I keep getting messages or missed calls or something.

Me: From who?

Mom: Some woman called…Betty Low?

Me: Um, battery low?

Mom: Yeah, that’s it!


Me: What time are you picking me up?

Dad: Who is this?

Me: Your son.

Dad: How did you get this number?

Me: I programmed your phone, remember?

Dad: How do I delete people?


Mom: Your father is driving me crazy. When are you coming home?

Me: I’m out with friends so not till late. Sorry!

Mom: It’s OK. I put Ambien in his tea. He won’t be annoying me much longer.


Me: Can I borrow 50 bucks?

Mom: You don’t call to say hi, you didn’t call on my birthday. All you ever call for is money!

Me: 40 bucks?

Mom: OK.


Me: Hey!

Dad: Aren’t you supposed to be at school?

Me: Aren’t you supposed to be at work?

Dad: Touché …


Me: Happy 49th, Dad! I love you so much!

Dad: It’s 48! You ruined my day. (If you want to make someone’s day, this text is guaranteed to make people happy.)

Mom: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I’m lonely.

Me: Isn’t Dad there?

Mom: Yes, but I like you more.

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