You’re a Debbie Downer
Pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect to be disliked when meeting people, research shows you will probably project cold negativity and prove yourself right. Social optimism, on the other hand, works the same way: people who expect other people to like them will enter into conversation more positively and, often, leave the other person feeling the same way. This doesn’t mean you need to suppress your emotions all day, but consider that happiness and sadness are as contagious as a virus; if you wouldn’t greet a friend by sneezing in her face, don’t greet her with a sour mentality either. Here are 10 things you should never say over text or email.
You dominate the conversation
You don’t need Harvard neuroscientists to explain that getting a few things off your chest feels good—but you’d be surprised to hear how good. “Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money,” the Wall Street Journal wrote of Harvard’s 2012 study. If you are depriving your friend of the joys of self-disclosure, you may as well be depriving them of a juicy hamburger. Don’t be a conversational narcissist; suspend your ego and give your friend a taste of that sweet, invisible burger. Here’s what good listeners do in daily conversations.
