They’re good listeners
Charmers immerse and focus themselves in what the other person is saying. They aren’t busy thinking of a rebuttal or a response. They don’t interrupt people while they’re speaking, try to dominate the conversation or tell stories to brag about themselves. They don’t use a conversation to give a lecture or unsolicited advice. Instead, they make people feel like they’ve been heard and focus on what they’re saying. “Everyone loves to talk about themselves,” says Mike Goldstein, founder and lead dating coach of EZ Dating Coach. “Ask the people you meet to do so.” They use the conversation to learn about what you know. “You’re far more likely to charm someone when you make them feel heard,” says Cherie Burbach, author of Art and Faith: Mixed Media Art With a Faith-Filled Message, who specializes in relationships and helping people connect. Read more about how to be a good listener.
They speak clearly
They take their time to think about each sentence, avoiding any unnecessary fillers that will make them unclear (like this common filler word you should avoid if you want to sound credible). This way, everything they say has a purpose and objective. These good communicators speak confidently, precisely, and deliberately. “If you ramble on or go off track, you’re more likely to lose someone,” says Burbach. “But sharing a few genuine, clearly spoken words will leave an impact.” And being direct, concise, and succinct makes them come across as more friendly. (Related: These magic phrases can help you nail public speaking.)
