“Your boyfriend’s great”
No he isn’t. He’s a self-centered womanizer wanted in 27 states. But you won’t tell your friend that. No, you’re averse to conflict. Chelsea Fagan at thoughtcatalog.com thinks you’re a coward. “It is your job, as a friend, to answer important questions honestly when they are presented to you,” she says. OK, I added the coward part, but it is an oft-repeated fact that people in love don’t always see clearly, and they need you to act as a bright beacon to warn them away from the treacherous, rocky shoals of romance. Sure, your friend may never want to speak to you again for dissing her beau, but should you keep your mouth shut and she’s left at the altar, the next question will be, “Why didn’t you say something?!”
“I love how you cut my hair”
Excuse me, but your hair doesn’t look like it was cut so much as it was mowed. A lot of us have trouble telling beauticians or waiters or whomever we pay for a service that that service stank. (Here are 38 things your hairdresser secretly wants to tell you). In one study, 85 percent of restaurant diners told waiters that their dining experience was good when it wasn’t. “The real interesting finding,” writes Guy Winch, in Psychology Today, “was that diners who told white lies to cover up their dissatisfaction were then likely to leave bigger tips than those who did not.” The reason? Something called cognitive dissonance, in “which our actions do not match our beliefs, creating a state of psychological and emotional discomfort.” We tend to resolve cognitive dissonance by overcompensating. Which means that even though you just got a haircut only Malcolm Gladwell would like, you still leave your beautician a handsome tip. Find out the real reason why telling lies can be dangerous.