Ivanko80/ShutterstockBestselling author Gretchen Rubin can guess your personality type by asking one question. Yes, just one. According to Rubin, who wrote the book The Four Tendencies, most people fall into four categories based on how they respond to expectations.
Here are the four types: People classified as “upholders” generally meet the expectations of other people as well as themselves, Rubin says. On the opposite end of the spectrum, “rebels” resist both inner and outer expectations. “Questioners” and “obligers” fall in between those two extremes; while questioners meet their own expectations with little to no regard for what others might think, obligers meet the expectations that others place on them but don’t always meet their own.
These four traits are all fine and dandy by themselves, but there’s actually a way to predict who will end up together, too. After listening to the stories of various couples, Rubin realized that rebels and obligers tend to couple up. She believes that could be because an obliger will tolerate (and even appreciate!) a rebels’ constant refusal to conform. For questioners and upholders, on the other hand, that habit would drive them crazy.
What’s more, rebels and obligers actually have some things in common. “There’s a deep affinity between obligers and rebels,” Rubin told Business Insider. “Both have this resistance to inner expectation and this gives them this feeling that the world is pushing on them and they want to push back.”
Since resistance is easier for rebels than obligers, a rebel partner could actually encourage the obliger to stand up for their own needs and beliefs. But a rebel-obliger relationship can also appear unequal, especially if the obliger tends to shoulder the household responsibilities more so than the rebel. However, “if this works for you—if in your relationship, both people feel like they’re getting a great deal—then that’s fine,” Rubin said.
Of course, these personality traits aren’t the only factors that determine your relationship’s success. But before taking the next step with your partner, you might want to take them into account. Start with these 20 questions every married couple should ask.
[Source: Business Insider]