One of the top traits men (and women) are looking for when they’re dating is kindness. (Here are the other top traits.) And the number one they avoid like the plague? Dishonesty. It’s a broad term, but any kind of dishonesty should be an immediate deal breaker, according to New York psychotherapist, Melissa Divaris Thompson. That includes lying, failing to disclose, or concealing anything else on this list of deal breakers.
Both men and women seem particularly sensitive to lies about age and marital status. Single model, actor, and entrepreneur Devon Ryan says that he’s speaking on behalf of himself and all his single friends when he says that “men seek a woman they can trust since they will be investing their time, energy, and money into them. If a woman tells even a small lie it signals to a man that they are capable of lying to them which increases the woman’s risk profile.”
Here are the worst possible relationship lies you can tell.
All that shallow stuffDmytro Zinkevych/Shutterstock
Age? Shape? Hair? You betcha—they’re all on the list of male deal breakers. While few men will cop to the truth, matchmakers had a different story to tell, listing the following three deal breakers for men:
- Too old: Men want younger women—even if in their past they had relationships with women their age or older, says a Chicago matchmaker, Stefanie Safran.
- Not fit enough: Isabel, a matchmaker who founded Elite Dating Managers, told Reader’s Digest that 90 percent of her male clients call this a deal breaker. “They just want a woman in good physical shape who is not overweight.” Safran concurred: “Men want women that work out, eat healthily, and generally take care of themselves.”
- Short hair: “More often than not, men want women with longer hair,” Safran says, “especially since most of the women on TV have long (and some with very long hair extensions) hair these days. Maybe their taste is really about what your hairstyle says about your personality?
At the same time, Safran also notes that men consider “being high maintenance” to be a dating deal breaker. “They want someone who spends some time getting ready, not hours and hours.”