Be mature about your spending
“One mistake couples make is going tit-for-tat with each other, such as saying, ‘You can’t buy those golf clubs if I can’t have new shoes’,” says Jenn Mann, a Beverly Hills-based psychotherapist. “Once a week arrange a 20-minute ‘business meeting’ together, and go over your finances.” Mann finds that oftentimes one person is handling the banking and their partner is putting their head in the sand. Weekly check-ins force you both to face reality and not argue about finances in the heat of the moment, such as in a store in front of fellow shoppers. Mann advises couples to set a designated amount of spending money they each get per week. Then, it’s up to each partner to decide how they spend that money. “Having the same amount of ‘play’ money to spend per week gives you a little autonomy and balances the field,” says Mann.
Seek professional help
Fighting non-stop about money? When things get really heated, seek help from a marriage counselor and/or therapist. An outside perspective can really help and a therapist can help you explore each other’s points-of-view without being biased. “A shift in perspective will help immensely. Remember, you’re both in this together and are working toward building financial security with each other; not attacking each other’s spending habits,” says Aida Vazin, a Newport Beach, California-based marriage and family therapist. Chances are you both want the same beautiful things in life and share similar values, after all, that’s why you were attracted to each other in the first place.