Put your feelings out there
“Being able to express your feelings and ask for what you want and need is an important part of maintaining a happy, healthy and successful relationship,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist, relationship expert and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. This is true in all of the relationships in our lives.” To help prevent and manage jealousy, talk directly about it. Share your feelings and make clear requests. Tell your boyfriend, “I’m feeling left out that you spend more time with Jessica at work than me. Can we set up a time tonight to hang out?” Requesting specific action can help you feel more secure. And the more connected you are, the less jealous you’ll feel. You may also want to write down your feelings in a journal. It will help you vent your frustrations and you’ll likely feel better after doing so, gaining a clearer perspective on the situation. Find out common behaviors that are subtly sabotaging your relationship.
Avoid excessive demands
Don’t ask your boyfriend to text you constantly from his desk job. Or bug him during his long-awaited guys’ night. If you’re constantly worrying and sending insecure texts or emails, you’ll only look out of control. “You can’t have everything go your way all the time,” says Overstreet. “Don’t become that crazy, needy chick, when all he wants is someone who gets him,” adds Julie Spira, a dating and relationship expert and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. What you’re doing will only make you look clingy and unattractive, she says. When nothing reassures you, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t for you. Find out the signs your partner is a keeper.
Get an aerial view
If you were your friend/boyfriend/colleague and heard about this situation, how would you react? Would you think it sounded normal or would you be freaked out by it? The fact that you’re jealous that your friend runs a faster mile than you does sound ridiculous when you really think about it. “By putting yourself in their shoes, you can manufacture more understanding and compassion; you can also practice the best approach for presenting your thoughts in the most productive way,” says Laurel House, a dating and empowerment coach on E!’s Famously Single. When you put some distance between you and what’s going on, you can see what’s happening more clearly. “Visualize putting the situation in a picture frame and hanging on the wall,” says Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert, and author of Don’t Lie on Your Back for a Guy Who Doesn’t Have Yours. “Eliminate yourself from the picture. How would you judge it from afar? If your answer scares you, consider how others might react. Decide what alterations you’re willing to make as a result.”