If you’re overweight, you must be a train wreck
The sexiest, most erotic films of all time typically feature great-looking men and women. Their faces are gorgeous to look at, even in the throes of passion. Their bodies are either impossibly buff, or one meager pound north of anorexia. The only movie in recent memory that dared portray a fuller-figured woman having (and enjoying) sex was Train Wreck, starring Amy Schumer in the title role. “Some people feel inadequate, comparing themselves to movie stars, despite the fact that many actors look like the rest of us when they’re not made up,” says certified sex therapist Grace Landes. “We only see actors at their best, with their hair done, and in great clothes, or naked, in perfectly staged angles, and elegant lighting.” If viewing those svelte, stunning bodies tears you down instead of revving you up, you’re not alone. According to the Deseret News, men, as well as women, experience body image dissatisfaction, when they compare themselves with Hollywood hunks.
To you, talking dirty means asking your honey to take out the garbage
Not only are characters in movies better looking than the rest of us, but their homes are more fabulous too. Did you ever notice the gorgeous digs typically portrayed in movie sex scenes? There’s no dirty laundry on the floor, no ring around the bathtub, and no overflowing garbage cans. Most of us have to juggle our sex lives with the rest of our lives, and that means planning for laundry, cooking, childcare, and earning a living. Movie sex is unfettered sex, which is out of reach for many people. “It’s not rare for a couple to come onto my office and use a movie as a reference point for how they wish their sex life operated,” says Chris Donaghue, PhD, author of Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture. “Hollywood’s depiction of sex in movies is typically centered around big, bold acts of love and attraction. Characters in film have no boundaries, whereas typical couples have finances, careers, and family, which may all limit the magnitude of their sex lives. In film,” he adds, “none of these constraints exist, and it can make the average, American couple feel negative about their own sexuality.” If sex has cooled down in your relationship, here’s how to rekindle the fire.