12 Things to Never Do After a Fight With Your Partner
It’s completely normal and healthy for couples to argue. But when you do get into a fight, here are some tips on how behave the right way after it’s done.
Don’t: Be hard on yourself that you fought
Don’t beat yourself up over an argument. All you’re doing is undercutting your self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence, says Lloyd. “Of course two people aren’t always going to be on the same page,” says Syrtash. “The important piece is that you each got a little closer to discovering what’s important to each other.” It happens to the best of us and is only unhealthy and unproductive. “Beating yourself up is rarely an effective use of your time,” says Doares. Fighting can be a good thing; it shows that you’re invested and working at the relationship. You care enough to get to the bottom of your issues. “In fact, not fighting at all is a sign, too,” says Feuerman. “Some arguments, if they’re able to be resolved, should actually bring you both closer together.”
Don’t: Use hurtful words to describe your partner
After you’re done disagreeing, don’t resort to name-calling and hurtful words, says Goldstein. He suggests using simple, easy-to-understand sentences or even one word to help your partner understand how you feel. For example, you might say, “When you ignore me when I get home from work, I feel alone in our relationship.”