You’re not as interested in what your partner has to say
If you find yourself offering a lot of “uh-huh’s” and “that’s nice” comments whenever your partner tells you about their day or an idea they have, that’s a telltale sign that stress is taking over. Don’t let thoughts of tomorrow’s meeting or mounting bills disrupt your communication. Instead, Schneberger says that eye-contact as well as active listening between both parties is key, and can help foster enhanced communication. Do your best to lock eyes with your partner and focus on what they are saying and try these other tips to be a good listener.
Your partner spends more time with other family members than you
It’s not unusual to call or visit family members, but when it becomes an escapist behavior in which your partner interacts more with them than you, that’s a red flag. Breur explains that a host of assumptions enter the picture in this case, including the feeling that your partner is more comfortable talking for long periods of time about topics that should be reserved for the two of you. Similarly, your partner may opt to spend more time with your children or pet than you. The fix, Breur says, is to specifically convey to your partner how this makes you feel, while offering a compromise at the same time. For example, suggest that your partner still speak with their sibling, but tell them that talking for two hours daily is bothersome for you. Then, suggest reducing phone time and use the extra time to spend together. If you do any of these things you might be showing these signs of a toxic relationship.
Your partner would rather check their Facebook status than look at your face
Sure, animal videos and banal updates on the lives of people you haven’t talked to since freshman year of college are interesting, but when your partner—or you— start scrolling though endless pages of internet happenings, that’s not doing your relationship any favors. “We truly have become a mobile world,” Dr. Breur says. “And with all the information and social media available 24/7, we have become a society that does not make communicating face to face a priority.” Her recommendation is to discuss this with your partner and come up with a tech-free solution you both agree on. One example might include not using the phone in the bedroom or while eating meals. Enjoying more personal interaction in a phone or computer-free environment will likely bring you closer. Here are 28 little things you can do today to make your marriage happier.