He takes credit for something you didiStock/RawpixelIf someone tries to steal your glory at work, that's a sign he is taking advantage of your kind nature. "We all know the co-worker that accepts praise for the part of the project you did," says Erika Martinez, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in Miami. "These behaviors communicate a sense of entitlement from the person that's benefiting from the relationship." Watch out for these signs that you can't trust your co-worker.
She's unwilling to balance favorsiStock/CasarsaGuruSocial fails include not saying thank you for something, or not offering to pick up the slack next time. When no thanks are given if you help or do something for someone, this is an indicator your friend doesn't take your feelings into account. "There's no reciprocity in the relationship. You listen to them, do favors for them, help them when they're stuck, but they never do the same for you," Dr. Martinez says.
He pushes you to be amenableiStock/Marco_PiuntiLearn to say "no" sometimes. "Before you respond, ask yourself, 'Will I feel resentful about this later if I say 'yes'? If the answer is 'yes', then kindly decline," says Dr. Martinez. "If he pushes you, kindly repeat your 'no.' The point is: Don't accept the additional responsibility if you have the slightest inkling that saying 'yes' to someone or something will leave you feeling resentful." If you are a people-pleaser, here are some tips on how to create boundaries.
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The friendship is not equally fulfillingiStock/martin-dmYour friend leans heavily on you, but isn't there when you need her. This is a sign that selfishness is in the equation. "You are there for lots of long text sessions and phone calls to help her handle her on again/off again romance, but when you need her, she is slow to get back to you or disappears altogether," says Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, founder and chief relationship advisor of Relationup, an app that provides real-time, anonymous relationship advice from professionals. "The friendship does not feel equal and you notice that you are growing resentful and feel used. If it's a close friend then it may be worthwhile having a conversation and sharing your feelings. If the person is less meaningful, it may be better not to put too much energy into trying to repair things." Read on for more ideas on how to be a good friend.
You're on the receiving end of deceptive flatteryiStock/GeorgijevicIf there's a co-worker showering you with admiration, marveling at how you do everything so well, this may be a sign he's buttering you up for the wrong reasons. "Blinded by the rosy glow of false flattery, you fail to spot his true motive: using you to do his work," cautions Wendy L. Patrick, JD, PhD, a San Diego-based attorney and behavioral expert. "And since you 'know everything,' he never has to look up any information on his own, he can just ask you," Patrick says. Don't fall for this flattery scheme.
You're ambivalentiStock/PeopleImagesHaving an unbalanced relationship can produce health drawbacks. According to an article in the New York Times, research shows that ambivalence in a relationship—the feeling that a partner may be unpredictable with his or her support or negativity—can take a quiet toll on the health of an individual. Here are some tips to find true happiness.
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