14 Things Confident People Would Never Do—So You Shouldn’t Either
Show, don’t tell. No really, telling people how confident you are is one of the surest ways to convince them otherwise.
Obsess over the past
Your internal dialogue can make or break you when it comes to confidence because you believe what you tell yourself, Sanok explains. So if you’re constantly obsessing over your faults and past mistakes, you’ll feel like a failure and act like one. But if instead you tell yourself that you are beautiful, smart, and can change the world, then you’ll start to act like that, he adds. It’s also important to stop telling others or yourself to “just be more confident”—it isn’t that simple and can even backfire.
Get lost in the details
Getting bogged down by too many choices or small details is a surefire way to appear less confident, Sanok says. Eventually you have to make the best choice you can with the information you have and move forward with it. “Confident people learn to focus on the one thing that will make everything else easier,” he explains. “They don’t waste time and energy on the small stuff.” You have to figure out what’s really key to your happiness and success and what isn’t—and then let that other stuff go. And if that little stuff includes unfolded socks or a bulging file cabinet, relax, there are some real upsides to being messy.
Spend all their time at work
Confident people are often natural leaders at work but that doesn’t mean they spend all their time there. Instead of being workaholics, those with confidence will figure out what energizes them and brings them happiness—whether it’s golf, reading, dancing, or traveling—and make sure they have time to do those things, Sanok says. They’re confident enough to say no to others’ demands on their time and to say yes to taking care of themselves. Here’s how to say no to the more annoying things in life.
Cross their arms
It may sound like a little thing but crossing your arms over your chest makes you appear defensive and the opposite of confident, Sanok says. Confident people stay on the same level as those they are talking to—sitting if the other person is sitting or standing if the other person is standing. That’s because confident people will slightly mirror the other person’s posture and gestures (but don’t mimic too precisely or you’ll just look creepy!). Take it a step further by taking posing advice from the pros with these body-confidence tricks from plus-size models.