What These Women Love About Being Single
For the first time in history, single women outnumber married women in the United States—and it’s because they want it that way. Find out why!
More women are choosing to be single
FG Trade/Getty Images
If you’re not married, you’re definitely not alone. The latest United States census revealed that for the first time in the history of ever, unmarried women outnumber their married counterparts. More women than ever are making this choice, according to research, and not as a rejection of marriage, but as a result of embracing the many choices available to them today—only one of which is marriage. Many women who choose to be single do so not out of a desire to be alone but, rather, to be fully engaged in their lives. They’re open to the possibility of a committed partnership, and some are already in relationships. None, however, is waiting for another person to make her whole. Check out more expert-backed tips to get the love you want.
Freedom on her terms
Courtesy Megan O'Brien
A public relations pro and creator of pet organizational company Dogipack, Megan O’Brien is constantly on the go for her business, with downtime in short supply. After nearly ten years of marriage—followed by years of long-term relationships and co-habitation—she relishes being single because it means the freedom to do what she wants when she wants. “If I want to land in Paris on Friday for a little rest and relaxation, I can! And I have. I love the freedom to pick up and go. I also like that the only person I have to run things by is me. Well, me and my dog watcher,” says the entrepreneur, who has also enjoyed a career as an on-camera host and beauty writer. O’Brien wishes there was less of a stigma attached to being single, and that more people could focus on its benefits. “Being single gets a bad rap, I’m my number one priority and I have time to concentrate on the things that are most important to my happiness. I’m not against being in a relationship but it would have to be a spectacular one for me to give up my independence.” Find out how being single can make you a better partner if the right one does come along.
Building an empire
Courtesy Marie Denee creator, thecurvyfashionista.com
“I’ve been single for a few years, but in hindsight, it was much needed,” says Marie Leggette, who runs fashion empire TheCurvyFashionista.com. “As an entrepreneur, being single has allowed me to focus on growing my media brand.” After a relationship left her wanting more, Marie decided to take a leap back into the single life—something initially scary that paid off. “While not an ideal situation and a huge risk, I left my heart in California. My work called me to Atlanta,” Leggette explains, adding, “I’ve also been able to focus on my own personal growth and development via therapy. This way, I’m a better partner, a whole partner, and I can better advocate for myself and my needs. Right now, being single has given me the space to focus on me. Getting to know and love me!”
Life is an adventure
Courtesy Lisa Niver
For Los Angeles-based travel and entertainment journalist Lisa Niver, life has been a constant adventure—with both good and bad. “I never thought that my personal and professional life would feel so much like a rollercoaster,” she says. After traveling in Asia for nearly two years with her then-husband, she chose to return to America without him. “I remembered I had rented my condo, sold my car, quit my job and was not sure what to do next to start over. I felt I was a failure. My friends insisted that the failure would have been to stay in an unsafe marriage and that I had to choose myself and remember the Chinese proverb, ‘Fall down 7, Get up 8.’ I picked myself back up and started my life over, challenging myself to do ’50 Scary Things Before 50′ as a way to inspire myself to keep going.” Now, as an award-winning journalist and avid traveler—101 countries and counting—Niver’s future is bright. “After a divorce and living in many cities and countries, I can honestly say at 52 years young, I am happy with my choices and so excited for new adventures. There were times that I never wanted to get out of my pajamas or eat anything but chocolate, but with encouragement from friends and family, I rebuilt my life again and I believe my 50s will be my best decade yet!” Those interested in finding a partner will want to know our 29 tips for finding love after 40.
Kicking her career into high gear
Courtesy Nikki Bruno, The Epic Comeback
A 20-year veteran of the book-publishing industry with a bachelor’s degree from Princeton and a master’s from Harvard, Nikki Bruno epitomizes the idea of a boss babe. However, following a divorce from a 12-year-long marriage resulting in two kids, she’s now more fulfilled striking out on her own. “I’m happy to be single because my soul can sing and grow in the freest, most liberated, most authentic way of my life,” she shares. “I love that nearly all of my choices, successes, and failures—social, financial, musical, professional aesthetic, all of them—are completely my own.” She founded The Epic Comeback™, a post-divorce empowerment coaching company. “I started this business because I went through a three-year high-conflict divorce and it completely sidelined me. After getting to the other side of that experience, I decided to dedicate my skills, talents, credentials, and passions to help other women come through a similar process. I want women to know and understand how powerful and amazing they are.” Now, one of Bruno’s favorite things about being single is the flexibility it affords. “I can be spontaneous or ultra-planned with my time, I can create an oasis of a household for my children and me, and I can get to know myself on myself’s own terms. It’s bliss.” Looking to be more spontaneous in your own life? Here are ways to plan a last-minute trip (without going broke).
Putting career goals first
Courtesy Danna Zahran
When work is as busy as it is for Danna Zahran, relationships naturally take a backseat. “As a management consultant who has worked at leading global firms, I have an incredible opportunity every day to help clients address unique challenges and solve complex business problems,” Zahran says. With travel comprising a major portion of her job as a super-commuter, over the past ten years, Zahran has been as likely to be in Dallas or Dubai as she is London or Jeddah. “Spending time in new cities and countries is an appeal to somebody like me, who is drawn to new experiences and tends to shy away from routine,” she explains, adding, “The experiences and exposure associated with frequent travel have been instrumental to my career development. But as a woman, spending the majority of my 20s prioritizing and focusing on my career has been no easy feat, often coming at the expense of building new relationships, especially romantic ones.” Like many successful women, Zahran has found men often intimidated by her success, but she values herself enough not to settle for somebody unsupportive—and knows the right person is worth the wait. “The mentors who have inspired me throughout my career are all women who have paved their paths to the top and now share their success with families of their own. To me, personal growth through my life experiences and professional success only make me a better friend, family member, and partner.”
Waiting for what she deserves
Courtesy Lianne Farbes
“I’ve never been married—largely because I’ve never wanted to settle for anything less than what I feel I deserve,” explains Lianne Farbes, an account coordinator for Kosas Beauty. “I’ve had several partners in my lifetime, but none that I ever considered building a life with.” Over the course of a thriving career, Farbes created popular beauty site The Makeup Girl, co-created an eye shadow with MAC (which promptly sold out), and consulted with top beauty brands—adventures she relishes—all while raising a son. “I’ve had the opportunity to focus on my career and raise my son, both things that are very important to me. I love the freedom that singlehood has offered me and even though I am in my 50’s now, I don’t think that having a committed relationship is off the table,” she explains, adding, “It’s really about finding a person that fits into my puzzle and sometimes that means compromise.”
Adventure is calling
“I love being single because I get to do what I want when I want,” declares Layla Khaldi, a former veterinary tech currently back in school. “I love being independent and take risks without having to answer to anyone. If I wake up and want to go hiking, I can or if I want to spend the day reading, I can.” For Khaldi, being in a serious relationship would have prevented her from making a recent cross-country move to Colorado, where she loves the freedom of mountain life. “I was living in Florida but had a job offer in Denver and moved within a month. I did the same when I moved to Park City. I am lucky to have had different opportunities that have led to some of the most exceptional experiences.” Cherishing her independence, Khaldi says, “Honestly, I enjoy not having to check in with someone regularly. I would never have been able to pack up and move all over the U.S.A. if I was in a committed relationship.”
Finding new experiences
Courtesy Stacey Soleil
As marketing & technology director of a financial group company in Los Angeles, Stacey Soleil’s career is demanding—and she likes it that way. “I love being an independent, professional woman in my 40s because at this age I finally realize that the secret to my happiness always has and always will begin and end with me,” she says. “I no longer seek companionship to feel complete—instead I seek out new experiences that challenge me, cause me to reflect, push me to learn/grow and most importantly, that just makes me laugh.” While Soleil is open to what comes her way, she’s not seeking it right now. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to companionship and sharing my life with another, however, I’m also not opposed to being single and self-sufficient either. I absolutely value my time with family and friends, however, I also love hiking, traveling and attending social events with my very favorite date…me!”
Loving her independence
Courtesy Nicole Winter
After starring on the Swedish TV show Svenska Hollywoodfruar (Swedish Hollywood Housewives), Nicole Winter wanted to turn her entrepreneurial streak into a product line, a luxury anti-aging cream called Stråla One. Being single gives her the flexibility to pursue these dreams. “I love being single because it allows me to pursue my entrepreneurial projects and I know I couldn’t do that if I was married,” she explains. “Being single has given me the freedom to work, see my friends, and travel at any given time without any restrictions or feeling guilty. My persistence and dedication were always fueled by my love and commitment to my two sons and family. Whether I was working in Hollywood as an actress or as an entrepreneur, being single allowed me to accomplish better results at home and it allows me to concentrate on my business.” Looking to take it to the next level with your career? These are the phrases that will make you more successful at work.