20 Rude Habits Your Child’s Teacher Wishes You’d Stop
“No I can’t give up my lunch break to help your child with their homework, I’m human and I need to eat too!”
Don’t: Send me angry emails
Did you know that typing in ALL CAPS is the email equivalent of screaming? “I hate it when parents send me heated emails, especially ones that are written in all caps or are just angry,” says Jennie B., a middle-school teacher in Minnesota. “Plus, it’s easy to misinterpret tone in an email which can make the situation worse.” It’s just one of the 9 email etiquette rules everyone should know.
Do: “I’d prefer a phone call or come in person so we can talk things out,” she says. Communication preferences do depend on the teacher, so be sure to ask your child’s which is best.
Don’t: Blame me for your child’s problems
“Not my child” is an all-too-common refrain that teachers hear, but the reality is that sometimes parents have a hard time accepting when their child has done something wrong and needs to be corrected, Jennie says. “Don’t come in being accusatory right off the bat,” she says. All that class time gives teachers special insight like these 7 secrets teachers know about your kids.
Do: Listen to the teacher and your child and then discuss how to solve the issue without blame, she says.
Don’t: Talk over me
“I wish parents would come in with an open mind and really listen to what I’m telling them about their child,” says Janet E., a teacher in New York. Instead, parents often talk over the teacher or think that because they know their child best there isn’t anything new to learn.
Do: Recognize that your child’s teacher sees them in a different context than you do and therefore may be able to tell you about some strengths and weaknesses you may not see at home, she says. This is just one of 15 reasons teachers love their job.
Don’t: Criticize me or the school on social media
These days, a teacher’s reputation is paramount and an angry or misinformed parent can undo years of hard work with a single post on social media, says Ramona D., a middle-school teacher in Georgia. “Often this leads to a lot of commentary and judgment from people who have zero idea about what really happened in the classroom,” she adds. And remember that while the negative stuff gets the most attention, teachers do so much good.
Do: Keep criticisms or comments off-line and talk to the teacher in person, she says. Do you know these 25 things the principal is secretly thinking?
Don’t: Expect me to potty train your child or make them eat their vegetables at lunch
There are many skills kids learn at school but there are some things that should be taught in a home setting by their parents, says Anna R., a high-school teacher in Minnesota. “I hate when parents expect us to parent their children,” she says. “We already have so many expectations without having to do what should be done at home.”
Do: Work on life skills at home until your child is confident doing them on their own, she says.
Don’t: Tell me how to do my job
It can be tempting to think that you know best, but while it’s fine to make the occasional suggestion to your child’s teacher, don’t assume you know what the entire class needs. “It’s so frustrating when parents try to micromanage me in the classroom,” Anna says. “I’m a professional, let me do my job!”
Do: Take a step back and trust your child’s teacher, she says. If there is a serious concern, like a safety issue, talk to the teacher and/or principal. Not sure if it’s serious enough? Here are 14 times that definitely merit a call.
Don’t: Ask for my help and then ignore my advice
Children thrive when parents and teachers work as a team but that can’t happen if you commit to doing something the teacher asks and then fail to follow through at home, says Jenny S., a school administrator in New York. “It’s frustrating when a parent asks how to improve behavior and then doesn’t do what I suggest,” she explains. This is just one of the 40 things your child’s teacher wants you to know.
Do: Try the teacher’s suggestions and be consistent, she says. That way your child isn’t getting mixed messages at home and school.
Don’t: Expect me to pay for school supplies
Teachers paying for classroom necessities out of pocket has become a huge problem in the United States—a fact that is even more upsetting when you consider that teachers are among the lowest-paid professionals. “I’ve had parents tell me that I make enough money that I should pay for their kids’ supplies or field trips or food, it’s ridiculous,” says Fred P., an elementary teacher in Alabama.
Do: Buy your kids what they need or vote to allot more funding to schools, he says. If you are unable to pay for supplies, talk to the school district about getting help.
Don’t: Address me as “miss” or “hey you”
“I’m always amazed at how many parents never bother to learn my name,” says Antonia S., a high school teacher in Vermont. “It’s one thing if it’s the first day or even week, but after that, you should know my name and use it.”
Do: Find out how your child’s teachers prefer to be addressed and then use it. “It’s just common courtesy,” she says. “Plus it’s written right there on my door and in my email address; it’s not hard to find!”
Don’t: Ask what me what I do all day
Teachers wear a lot of different hats during the day and are often very busy. “I’ve had so many parents assume my job is really cushy and I just sit around telling the kids to do worksheets all day,” Antonia says. “The truth is that I often work 12-hour days and weekends to get in all the grading and extra help kids need.” Need more proof? Check out these 7 stories of amazing teachers who went above and beyond.
Do: “Ask what you can do to help me,” she says. “Or, if you’re just trying to make small talk, ask what my favorite part of my job is.”