13 More Things Your Bartender Won’t Tell You

More insider tips from professional bartenders.

[step-item number=”1.” image_url=”” title=”If I cut you off, don’t argue.” ] If anything, you should apologize if you’ve made a scene. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”2.” image_url=”” title=”Get a room.” ] The more you make out with your date, the closer you are to being cut off. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”3.” image_url=”” title=”I’ve heard it all.” ] One guy told me I had the worst smile he‘d ever seen. I found out that he thinks a girl won‘t remember him unless he puts her down. I guess it worked; I‘m telling you this story three weeks later.[/step-item]

[step-item number=”4.” image_url=”” title=”Think tending bar isn’t a real career?” ] You’re wrong. The craft of bartending is coming back, and some of us are even called “mixologists” now. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”5.” image_url=”” title=”I love sharing what I know.” ] If it’s not busy, ask me about the history of drink or the latest cocktail I’ve invented. You’ll learn something new. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”6.” image_url=”” title=”I like a sophisticated palate.” ] You’ll win points with me if you request gin in your martini. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”7.” image_url=”” title=”My knees hurt.” ] Bar mats prevent slipping, but I really like them for the cushioning. I use sole inserts in my shoes, too. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”8.” image_url=”” title=”I can tell if your date is going well or not.” ] And I notice if you bring in a new date every week. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”9.” image_url=”” title=”Everyone should bartend a few nights in his life.” ] You learn so much about people. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”10.” image_url=”” title=”I’m not a piece of meat.” ] If you’re going to hit on me all night, at least leave a big tip. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”11.” image_url=”” title=”It happens every time.” ] The songs you line up on the jukebox will play right as you’re leaving. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”12.” image_url=”” title=”I do more than mix drinks.” ] I love being your psychiatrist-matchmaker-entertainer-friend. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tend bar. [/step-item]

[step-item number=”13.” image_url=”” title=”Please, take a cab.” ] [/step-item]

Sources: David Craver, president, National Bartenders Association, and anonymous bartenders in Boston, Kentucky, Florida, California, and Illinois. Interviews by Bridget Nelson Monroe.


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