Tax season can bring up a lot of stress. That's where humor comes in! These hilarious accounting jokes will really do a number on you.
Accounting is something we rarely associate with humor. After all, what’s so funny about complicated tax codes and monotonous bookkeeping? Surprisingly, a lot! There’s a bunch of clever and funny math jokes and riddles, so it’s no wonder there are a bunch of hilarious accounting jokes too.
Maybe it’s the anxious clients and endless tax codes that provide accountants with an arsenal of hilarious finance jokes. Whatever their inspiration, when tax season is upon us, we could use a few jokes about accountants, taxes and the IRS to relieve the anxiety and stress.
From clever (and punny) one-liners to rib-tickling smart jokes about taxes, audits, CPAs and even the IRS, we’ve got you covered with the best accounting jokes. You never know—they might lighten the load and distract your accountant from shoeboxes of receipts and fuzzy math. So get ready to chuckle your way through the accountant humor below.
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Accounting jokes
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What do accountants suffer from that normal people don’t?
Depreciation.
Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?
For every $50 you earn, you get $10, and the IRS gets $40.
What do you call a trial balance that does not balance? A late night.
How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
The Net Present Value.
Why are accountants so cool, calm and collected?
They have strong internal controls.
What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
Mind the GAAP.
How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
What do accountants like most about the weekends?
They get to wear casual clothes to work!
How was copper wire invented?
Two accountants were arguing over a penny.
Have you heard the one about the fun accountant?
Me neither.
How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted?
He looks at your shoes when talking to you instead of looking at his own.
How come accountants never see the glass as half-empty or half-full?
They see the glass as twice as large as necessary!
Tax jokes
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Which superhero pays no tax? Spider-Man. All his income is net.
What do the IRS, a mugger and your kids have in common? They all take your money.
Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
Because they have only one scent.
Why are taxes like golf?
Because you work hard on the green just to end up in the hole.
What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
Which Avenger pays the least in taxes?
Spider-Man, because his income is all net.
Why would you invest in a gas station that loses money to save on taxes?
Because it’s self-serving.
Why did the goose have a big tax refund?
Because his bill was tax de-duck-table.
Why is pretax income nasty?
Because it’s gross.
What sort of taxes are there on trash bags?
Hefty ones, and no one is Glad about it.
What are the three most common types of tax forms?
Short, long and surrender.
What sort of taxes do marijuana dispensaries file?
Joint returns.
IRS jokes
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Why won’t the IRS embrace bitcoin?
They don’t trust anything they can’t freeze.
An IRS auditor is walking down the street when a mugger stops him.
“Give me your money!” the mugger says.
“You can’t do that!” says the IRS auditor.
“Oh,” the mugger comments. “Well, in that case, give me my money.”
Why did the church get indicted by the IRS?
For displaying false profits.
I received a letter from the IRS telling me I committed tax fraud.
They must have the wrong address because I have never paid taxes in my life.
How do dairy farmers do their taxes? The ones with simple taxes use a cow-culator, and the ones with complicated situations have to go to an IRS ac-cow-ntant.
What did the IRS say to the cat about his litter box deduction?
“I’m sorry, but you can’t claim your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.”
How do you know your child will be an IRS officer when they grow up?
When reading them Cinderella, the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, and they ask, “Is that ordinary income or capital gain?”
What do a pelican, a vulture and the IRS have in common?
They all have big bills.
Audit jokes
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Why did the IRS audit the chiropractor?
He owed back taxes.
Why did Sherlock Holmes get audited by the IRS?
He had too many deductions.
What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor.
Where is the place to negotiate with the IRS?
At the tax table.
Where do actors who don’t pay taxes perform?
In the audit-orium.
CPA jokes
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What’s an accountant’s favorite profanity?
Sheet!
Have you heard about the new dating app for CPAs?
It’s called Let’s Get Fiscal.
Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? He charges an arm and a leg!
Did you hear about the CPA who became a chef?
It wasn’t long before he was cooking the books!
What’s the official job description of a CPA?
Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don’t understand.
How did the CPA break her leg?
She lost her balance.
What do you get when you cross a tax accountant and a jet airplane?
Boring 747.
Why did the CPAs finally call off their on-again, off-again romance?
They couldn’t reconcile their differences.
One-liners about accounting
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Seen on the T-shirt of an IRS tax agent: We’ve got what it takes to take what you got.
A successful tennis player has a lot of net income.
The IRS has made a major announcement: All cannabis dealers must file a joint tax return.
Have you ever noticed that when you combine the words the and IRS, it spells theirs?!
After I spoke with the tax auditor, I slept like a baby. I woke up every hour and cried.
Income tax is Uncle Sam’s version of “Truth or Consequences.”
A parent gave her kid some sound advice before going to accounting school: Study hard so you can be audit you can be.
Seen on a sign in the accounting firm: It’s accrual world out there.
If you find these accounting jokes funny, don’t miss out on these pun-filled compliments that are sure to charm everyone around you!
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Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter Is the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
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