74 Birthday Puns for the Ages

The next time you need a hilarious sign-off at the bottom of a birthday card, boy oh boy, do we have the pun for you.

We can’t promise that these birthday puns won’t cause the recipient to use their one birthday wish to revoke your own birth, but we can promise they will definitely elicit many a groan. We can also promise that these funny birthday quotes perfect for cards will do the trick too!

Food birthday puns

What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover? Choco-latte. If you thought that was good (or bad), then these coffee puns will offer a whole latte laughs.

I bought you a loaf of bread for your birthday toast.

How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.

Go ahead…cake my day.

Feliz cumpleaños. Have a flantastic birthday!

It is your birthday…you batter believe it!

What’s a ghost’s favorite cake? I-scream cake.

Hey shawty. It’s sherbert day.

You feta have a…gouda birthday.

What do you call your 21st birthday? Your beer-thday.

Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock? It was a marble cake.

That birthday party…was gelato fun.

What’d one veggie say to the other on its birthday? Ha pea birthday.

Happy belated birthday! Butter late than never.

Dim sum-body…say it’s your birthday?

Turning 21…is nothing to wine about.

Have a grate birthday. Hope that’s not too cheesy.

Happy birthday best tea!

So, you’re spaghetting older…

You’re old, but I do not carrot all.

Raisin a toast for your birthday.

Happy birthday. You’re one in a melon.

Need more food puns? Browse these cookie puns—they’re batter than you think.

Wholesome birthday puns

There’s nothing better than presents from friends and family on your birthday. Unless it’s the presence of friends and family on your birthday. These are the kind of pun-derfully funny puns you can use for kids’ birthdays.

Some only dream of big cakes. Others bake it happen.

You know what they say about more candles...a bigger wish!Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

You know what they say about more candles…a bigger wish!

How do you celebrate a birthday in heaven? Angel food cake!

You’re not old. You’re aged to perfection.

Once you’re over the hill, that’s when you begin to really pick up speed.

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.

You’re not old, you’re classic.

Why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in weird fabric? To make your presents felt.

Read these candy puns for more sweet laughs!

Birthday puns you couldn’t wish for

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

I got you a card. It’s the Ace of Spades.

I need glasses to read my birthday cards. Wine glasses.

I guess from now on…every birthday is a surprise!

You know what goes up and never comes down? Your age.

What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music.

You make life…so funfetti.

Why are you always warmest on your birthday? People won’t stop toasting you.

Why do we put candles on top of the birthday cake? It’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

You know you’re getting old when caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

I’m trying to convince my wife I want a Segway for my birthday. But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

If you’re a bookworm, bookmark these hilarious book puns for future browsing.

The eye-rolliest of birthday puns

Why do people write on birthday cakes? Because everyone wants to have their cake and read it too. These hilarious cartoon puns will somehow never get old, unlike these eye-rollers.

This whole birthday thing is getting old. Don’t you think?

Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you.

My speech involved giving Grandpa…a toast of his own medicine.

Does a green candle burn longer than a blue one? No they both burn shorter.

What’d the teddy bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me, I’m stuffed.

Why do candles love birthdays so much? They just want to get lit.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!

A birthday cake is just like a golf ball. You’ve got to slice it.

Why do your relatives never forget a birthday? Age is a relative thing.

What did one candle say to the other candle? Don’t birthdays just burn you up?

Did you hear about the big birthday candle sale? It was a big blowout.

What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.

What’s an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake.

What’d the dancer say to her classmate? Tappy birthday!

What do you say to a tree on its birthday? Sappy birthday!

Birthday puns about animals

What do you say to a Spanish sheep on his birthday? Fleece cumpleaños. And if animal puns don’t do it for you, these hilarious Pokémon puns will.

What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday? Happy birthday to ewe!

The cat’s out of the bag—you’re one year older. Hope your birthday leaves you feline good!

What do you get a hunter for his birthday? A birthday pheasant. You gotta chick out these 15 bird puns that will quack you up while you’re at it.

Where do you get a birthday present for your cat? A catalog.

What did the elephant want for its birthday? A trunk full of gifts.

Why don’t owls exchange birthday gifts? They do not give a hoot.

How do raccoons celebrate their birthdays? They get trashed.

Why do cats love birthdays? They love to purrty.Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

Why do cats love birthdays? They love to purrty.

How do you wish a crocodile well wishes on his birthday? Snappy birthday!

What does a turtle do on his birthday? He shell-a-brates.

What did one crustacean say to the other on his birthday? Have a crab-u-lous day!

How does a cat celebrate its birthday? By turning up the mewsic.

Age is irrelephant, so enjoy your day.

It’s your birthday? Alpaca my party hat.

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