How Did These People Not Get Fired? Oh Wait—They Did

Outrageous behavior on the job? You've got to read it to believe it.

truck lifting fridge
Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest

Helplessness is defined by slipping a dollar into the office vending machine, only to watch your Twix get stuck on the coils. That’s what happened to an Iowa man. But unlike the rest of us, he had a forklift at his disposal, which he used to jostle the machine until it freed his booty. He was fired the next day.
Source: the Des Moines Register

Coworkers of a New York City court stenographer guessed he was having a rough day after he’d handed in a transcript. He had purportedly typed I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job over and over again. The man was fired for misconduct.
Source: the New York Post

More candidates for Employee of the Month:

A Florida resident came home to find his apartment ransacked. After speaking with neighbors, the police zeroed in on the culprit: the break-in “victim,” who had been spotted acting suspiciously. The homeowner admitted to staging the burglary because he just didn’t feel like going to work.

A South Carolina pizza deliveryman had an unusual way of keeping the pizzas hot in transit. The man, who was also a volunteer firefighter, would flash his emergency lights so traffic would pull over and let him pass, according to reports. The police used their sirens to arrest him.
Source: the Week

A man stormed into a Florida electronics store wearing a ski mask and ordered an employee to lie on the floor. When she ran, he drew his Taser, only to tase himself. He then fled empty-handed. Hours later, he returned … to start his shift.
Source: the Tampa Bay Times

Boss of the year! At a party in China, an employer plopped down money and told his employees that it was their bonus. But to get their share, they would have to drink him under the table. Said one teetotaler, “Men were given 500 yuan for each shot,” and women were given twice that. In the end, some cashed in—and some passed out.  

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Andy Simmons
Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest.