27 of the Funniest Parenting Tweets That Will Make You LOL
These basically sum up the hilarity of parenting in 140 characters or less.
1. Selective hearing
2. Who needs sleep?
3. The morning grind
4. Always room for chips
5. The real playtime
6. No rest for the weary
Don’t miss these hilarious pieces of parenting advice for dads from comedians who’ve been there.
7. Invasion of privacy
8. “What was I saying?”
9. The best attention-grabber
10. Loss of appetite
11. Experiment gone wrong
12. Clean eating
13. Swear on my mother’s grave
15. Important parenting lessons
My 6yo's assignment was to draw a challenge she thinks she can overcome. So she drew herself teaching me how to use the tv remote. pic.twitter.com/8JcB2K0e7j
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) February 19, 2017
16. Blood, sweat, and tears
Being a parent is just basically walking around the house saying, "Clean up this mess!" until everyone is crying.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 5, 2017
17. Guess who?
Me: [in bathroom]
7yo: [knocks] MOMMY?
Me: Yeah pal
7: IT'S ME
Me: I know
7: YOUR SON
Me: Knew that too
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 19, 2016
18. Déjà vu
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
— rob fee (@robfee) March 3, 2015
19. Pain is beauty
My 2-year-old stood still and cooperated when I brushed her hair
I chased her through the house like Jason in a slasher flick
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 13, 2017
20. Scrounging for scraps
I never realized how much of parenthood would involve competing with the dog for my kids' leftover fries.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 11, 2017
21. Big answers for big questions
My son was crying and asked, "why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog.
— ally (@TragicAllyHere) September 30, 2016
22. Above the trends
"Oh my god, why are you so obsessed with clothes?!"
– My 6yo, when I asked him to hurry up and get dressed for school
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 13, 2017
23. A mother’s true love
6yo: "When my play date gets here you and her mom can just go do 'Mom Things' like drink wine and talk about Girl Scout cookies, ok?"
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 4, 2017
24. Try again (and again and again)
Beware a child who has learned a joke or a magic trick.
— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) March 14, 2017
25. Tag is a contact sport
When a kid asks a sibling to play a game of tag, they're basically asking if their sibling wants to take a jog that ends in a fight.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 9, 2017
26. Play pretend
Me: Go clean your room.
Translation: Go away for a few minutes. We both know you're not going to really clean anything in there.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 9, 2017
27. Sleepless nights
Me: Like, I couldn't be more exhausted.
Parenthood: Hang on a day or so there. You can be. *Winks*
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 8, 2017