14 Funny Sibling Stories That Will Make You Glad You’re Not an Only Child

Peter Oumanski for Reader's Digest

But What He Really Wants …

While my mother was pregnant with me, my parents warned my three-year-old brother not to get his heart set on either a brother or a sister, as they didn’t know what I would be. He seemed to understand but added this caveat: “Well, if it’s a dog, I hope it’s a boxer.” —Kathleen O’Hagan Congress, Arizona

The Long Sufferer

Ours was a family of eight children, but only one boy. One day, I was complaining to my brother about having six annoying sisters. He wasn’t having it. “What are you griping about?” he said. “I have seven!” —Donna Ayer Rockport, Indiana  

Boys Will Be Boys

I am one of four boys, and, true to stereo­type, we fought. During one scuffle, Mom had had enough. She broke it up and demanded, “Who started this?”
My brother Wes wheeled around, pointed at me, and cried, “He hit back first!” —Steve Walhood Battle Ground, Washington

Been There, Done That

Like all Americans, my family was ecstatic when Apollo 11 landed on the moon. Well, most of us. My blasé six-year-old sister wondered, “What’s the big deal about a man going to the moon when the cow jumped over it?” —Sandra Durkin Mars, Pennsylvania

Born Without a Filter

My brother recently ran into a woman he’d gone to school with many years earlier. After they caught up, she showed him a picture of her daughter. “Wow,” he said. “She doesn’t look anything like you. She’s pretty.” —Cindy Earls Ada, Oklahoma

Mortified!

My sister Margaret had been in the church confessional only a few minutes when she ran out as red as a beet. “What happened?” I asked.
“I passed gas,” she sheepishly admitted. “And the priest said, ‘And for your next sin?’” —Elizabeth MacFarland Pasadena, California

The Rebel

My father dragged my brother to the barber to get his beautiful long hair shorn. Arriving at the barbershop, Scott asked to use the bathroom. He went in, and Dad and the barber waited. And they waited. And they waited. Finally, Dad stormed into the bathroom, only to discover the window open and my brother nowhere to be seen. I never did find out how he got home. —Sharon Kemp Houghton Lake Heights, Michigan

Peter Oumanski for Reader's Digest

The Proud Something-or-Other

At a baby shower for my first child, my 13-year-old brother let the excitement of the moment get the better of his emotions, and he giddily announced to the guests, “I can’t wait till the baby is born so I can find out if I’m an uncle or an aunt!” —Trina Bamberg Erhard, Minnesota

The Sportsman

On a fishing trip, my father told my five-year-old brother that it was time he learned to bait his own hook and then left him alone to figure it out. When he returned, my dad found my brother holding a fishing hook in one hand and staring at a squirming worm in the other. “What are you doing?” Dad asked. My brother, nodding toward the worm, quietly answered, “I’m waiting for him to open his mouth.” —John Kasun Duncansville, Pennsylvania

She’s Got His Back

I was in the third grade when the principal called me into his office. “Did you and your brother leave the house at the same time this morning?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Well, Sam played hooky from school today.”
I knew that wasn’t true, and I told him so. “He couldn’t have. The only game he knows how to play is checkers.”
The principal smiled, patted me on the head, and sent me back to my classroom. —M.J.C. via rd.com

Revenge Is Best Served Loud

Me: Hi! Welcome to [the toy store where I worked]. Can I help you find anything in particular?
Customer: I’m mad at my sister, and my nephew’s birthday is coming up. What do you have that makes loud, repetitive noises and can’t be turned off? —notalwaysright.com  No judgment from us, adult sibling relationships are hard; here’s how you can become best friends with your adult siblings.

Peter Oumanski for Reader's Digest

Role-Playing

One day, my younger brother knocked on our neighbor’s door and asked if her son, David, could come out to play. Suspicious, since David wasn’t usually a favorite playmate, she asked Larry why. He replied ­matter-of-factly, “We need a monster.” —Pamela Blair Asheville, North Carolina

Just Following Orders

We were setting the dining room table for guests when my mother asked my brother, eight at the time, to get the napkins. He disappeared into the other room and then reappeared and placed the napkins. Minutes before the guests arrived, Mom noticed that next to each plate was one of her sanitary napkins. —Paula Chomiuk Novi, Michigan

Peter Oumanski for Reader's Digest

Alexander Graham Udene

It was 1949, and we’d just had our first telephone installed in our home. Overcome with excitement, my 13-year-old brother, Udene, made his first call to a friend. The phone rang, his friend picked up, and Udene excitedly blurted, “This is me, is that you?” —Neida Darley Jacksonville, Florida

The Escape Artist

When my four-year-old brother bolted from the yard for the umpteenth time, my worried parents put up a fence. Didn’t work—Chris learned how to climb over it. So Mom came up with the idea of tying one end of a long rope to his belt loop and the other end to the fence. It worked splendidly, until Chris removed his pants and climbed over the fence. —Donna Holter Centennial, Colorado . This one is almost as crazy as these 11 bizarre sibling stories you won’t believe are true!