30 Horse Puns That Will Make You Whinny

Straight from the horse’s mouth!

If you like horses, puns, and laughing at bad jokes, then this one is for you. Think you’ve heard them all? Well, hold your horses because you’re about to be in for a wild ride. Just don’t blame us if your throat feels a little hoarse from all the laughing. If you’re interested in more than just horse puns, check out these deer puns, shark puns, and our other best animal puns that will definitely make you chuckle.

1. Rein it in with the gossip!

You’ll stirrup trouble.

2. Have you ever heard of the band Foals?

They have a colt following.

3. Maybe she’s barn with it… Maybe it’s neighbelline.Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

3. Maybe she’s barn with it…

Maybe it’s neighbelline.

4. Go to bed!

It’s pasture bedtime!

Share these horse puns and some of our best puns for kids that will surely tickle their punny bone.

5. Still complaining?

Get off your high horse.

6. Who were the two best horse thieves in the world?

Bonnie and Clydesdale!

7. A horse walks into a bar…

The bartender says, “hey!” The horse replies excitedly, “you read my mind!”

RELATED: 30 Chicken Puns That Are Eggs-traordinarily Funny

8. Another horse walks into a bar… The bartender asks, “why the long face?”Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

8. Another horse walks into a bar…

The bartender asks, “why the long face?”

Are these puns making you hungry? Here are some of our cheesiest pizza puns. Really, it’s the yeast we can do.

9. Scratchy throat?

You sound a little hoarse.

10. Let’s skip the opening act.

I only care to see the mane event.

11. Hm?

Stop stalling and answering the question.

RELATED: 31 Pig Puns That Will Make You Snort

What do you call a horse that lives next door? Neighbor!Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

12. What do you call a horse who lives next door?


Make someone’s day with these punny compliments that will warm anyone’s heart.

13. Just got promoted…

And now I’m saddled with so much more responsibility.

14. Just got paid?

It’s nice to be financially stable.

15. Watch me whip…

Watch me neigh, neigh.

16. I heard you have a new boyfriend.

He’s my mane man! My ride-or-die!

For more eye rolls, don’t miss our collection of the worst puns ever.

TO be or not to be... that is the equestrian.rd.com, Getty Images

17. To be or not to be…

That is the equestrian.

18. What’s a horse’s favorite sport?


19. Oh, hay!

Hello, nice to see you!

20. Don’t look!

I’m neigh-kid!

21. Can I ask you equestrian?


Getting sick of horse puns? Try to keep a straight face while reading these dog puns.

22. Why are we going so slow?

Just need a little more horsepower.

23. Come on kid…

Quit foaling around!

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Help! I’ve fallen and can’t giddy-up!Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

24. Help!

I’ve fallen and can’t giddy-up!

Thought that was good? These fish puns are sure to split your gills.

25. Would you like some ketchup?

And mayo-neighs?

I mustard admit these food puns will satisfy all your condiment cravings.

26. Wine?

Sure, I’ll have some Chardonhay.

27. My friend is half horse…

And always the centaur of attention.

28. My horse is in the hospital…

But good news! He’s stable!

RELATED: Bear Puns That Will Make You Growl with Laughter

My horse is nocturnal… A true night-mare!Emma Kumer/rd.com, Getty Images

29. My horse is nocturnal…

A true night-mare!

30. Did you like these horse puns?

Yay or neigh?

For even more puns, check out our hub for the best puns ever and you’ll be punstoppable.

Emma Taubenfeld
Emma Taubenfeld is a former assistant editor for Reader’s Digest who writes about digital lifestyle topics such as memes, social media captions, pickup lines and cute pets. When she’s not working, you can find Emma reading corny young adult novels, creating carefully curated playlists and figuring out how to spice up boxed mac and cheese.