Drowning in preschool artwork, old cards and the contents of Grandma's attic? These pointers will help you streamline without shedding a tear.
I’ll never forget the day I got the bright idea to spring-clean my kids’ old artwork. They’re teens now, I thought. I can part with their first-grade pottery. So I picked up three (lopsided) bowls and tossed them in the trash.
CRASH went the sculptures … and I burst into tears.
I don’t think of myself as super sentimental, so this was unexpected. But the sound of their first creations bursting to smithereens unleashed all kinds of feelings. Including—you guessed it!—guilt.
Even if you’re not a hoarder, sentimental clutter can really get its hooks into you. Whether it’s kids’ artwork, old birthday cards or family heirlooms and cast-offs, objects with sentimental meaning are tough to purge. This is especially true if you feel a deep emotional attachment to, well, everything.
We hang onto sentimental stuff because it reminds us of our favorite people and times, notes Matt Paxton, the extreme-clean-out expert on Hoarders and the author of Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff. “It’s not the stuff that we love. It’s the people attached to it,” he says. “It’s not the chair—it’s the grandfather who sat in the chair.”
That doesn’t mean you need to keep it all, though. To pare down memory-laden objects, you have to figure out what no longer serves you and what still does. ”It’s about getting rid of the stuff that doesn’t matter, so you have space for the stuff that does,” Paxton explains.
To find out how to do that, we talked to Paxton as well as Sarah Seung-McFarland, PhD, a therapist who specializes in the psychology of design, and Tracy McCubbin, the founder of dClutterfly and the author of Make Space for Happiness: How to Stop Attracting Clutter and Magnetizing the Life You Want. Keep reading for their clever, easy and immensely helpful strategies that will help you declutter without feeling guilty—or losing the memories.
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Figure out your organizing goal
It sounds basic, but this is the first—and maybe most important—step. Knowing why you’re organizing your home is key, says Paxton, because it tells you how ruthlessly to edit. Do you need to completely clear out your house to sell it? Are you making room for a baby or an in-law? Or are you just streamlining a closet or freeing up space in your attic? The answer will help you know how much to donate or toss.
If you need to go scorched earth, try to be gentle with yourself. “It can be difficult to let go of sentimental clutter, because it feels like you might be losing the emotional connection along with the clutter,” says Seung-McFarland. But try to remember that “memories actually live within us, not within the objects,” she adds.
Lean in to the stories
By far, the hardest belongings to release are those we inherited from family and friends no longer with us. How do you honor these amazing people without drowning in memorabilia? To start, Paxton recommends making “a legacy list” of the five most important sentimental objects in your home. You might include things like your grandmother’s old charm bracelet, your mom’s vinyl collection and your dad’s trumpet. Next, share the stories behind them, or write them down. “Talk about the things you love,” Paxton says. “That’s how you let them go.” That’s the dining room table where my grandparents started their business! This is the baseball my dad got signed by Nolan Ryan!
“You’ll find once you share those amazing stories and memories, the item isn’t as important anymore because you’ve celebrated that person,” he says. At the same time, you may find there are a few cherished hand-me-downs you totally love and don’t want to let go of just yet.
Treasure (and display) the keepers
The goal isn’t to give it all away. (Phew!) Instead, it’s to identify a select few objects that have real significance and you want around. Maybe you want to keep one (or three) items from each category or person. You might say, “I’m going to hang onto one piece of furniture from each of my grandparents’ homes.” Or, “I’m going to keep one of my aunt’s groovy ’70s jackets.”
Letting go is less painful when you celebrate those hand-me-downs that have extra-special meaning and even put them on display. Instead of stashing Mom’s typewriter in the attic, place it on a shelf in your office. When Paxton remarried, he went from being a single dad of three kids to a married father of seven. To make room for his expanded family, he weeded through everything he had inherited. “I found my most meaningful item was my grandfather’s fishing rod, so I put it front and center in my living room,” he says. “People ask me about it every time they come in. He’s been gone 25 years, and I still get to share that story.”
Another tip Paxton swears by: Create a family wall of fame filled with favorite photos and mementos, old and new, then rotate it every few years. “Your home shouldn’t be a museum,” he says. “It should be a living museum.”
Create a “maybe” pile
Let’s face it: It’s hard to commit yay or nay on mementos from some of your favorite people ever. That’s why a “maybe” pile or bin is essential when organizing sentimental clutter. Store it in a halfway place like the garage or basement, as a way to dip your toe into the water of releasing it. “ You’ll know when it’s time to get rid of it,” Paxton says. “And if you’re not able to yet, then you are not ready and that is OK.”
This half-step can be especially helpful for people who grew up with scarcity and find security in stuff, Seung-McFarland says. If this is you, “start in steps,” she says. “You might pack certain items away and see how your space feels without them. Often, you’ll feel lighter or more comfortable without the extra objects around.”
Snap a photo so you never have to lose the memory
I’m not the only parent who gets all choked up about their kids’ art and first short stories. There’s a really good reason why so many of us cling to bins of infant clothes and baby toys in the attic (even though our kid is already driving): They remind us of happy times we can’t help but miss. “You see them and remember what it felt like when they came home from the hospital and they were so sweet,” says McCubbin.
That’s a rush you don’t have to give up. Just snap a photo of anything special, and add it to your 26,600 shots in the cloud. Then release the clothes, by donating them or trashing them if they’re stained. “If you understand you’re keeping it for the feelings and that you can conjure up those feelings by looking at a photograph of it,” McCubbin says, “it makes it easier to let go because you’re not really giving away the feeling.”
Or steal Paxton’s trick: “If it’s a work your child really likes, take a video of them telling the story of the art.” Awww.
Break free of aspirational clutter
The good silverware we never use. The leather-bound Shakespeare editions collecting dust. The big picnic basket that’s too heavy to hike with. The elliptical strewn with laundry. It’s all lovely—and making you miserable.
“Aspirational clutter reflects the life we imagine we should be living rather than the one we’re actually living,” says Seung-McFarland. The problem? It’s taking up precious space, for one. But worse, it nags at you. (“I really should be … reading The Tempest, hosting fancy dinner parties, improving my resting heart rate, and so on.) Who needs that?
To free yourself from this draining clutter, think about your priorities, goals and tastes, then ask yourself: Does this object support them? You may decide the crystal candlesticks you use only at Thanksgiving and Christmas actually do, but the silver platters taking up oodles of space (and turning black) don’t. “If the item doesn’t actually fit your life, letting it go can create space for the things that better support who you are now,” Senug-McFarland says. Bye-bye, elliptical. Hello, pilates reformer!
Pay it forward
If you have pangs about throwing out Grandma’s perfectly good midcentury lamp or the leather jacket your dad wore in college, pass them along to someone who wants them, through a charity or local Facebook “buy nothing” group. You’ll be entrusting them to someone who truly wants them. “It’s kind of like paying it forward,” Seung-McFarland says. “Knowing that something meaningful can still bring joy to others makes it easier to let it go.”
And if you have a wedding dress and veil all boxed up and languishing in the attic, consider passing it on to a local bride or even donating it to an organization like Brides Across America, which gives away wedding dresses to military and first-responder brides.
Don’t fear the wrath of dead people
Why does it feel so traumatic to throw out so much as a T-shirt or tea towel from someone you truly loved? “What’s going on is guilt—death guilt,” Paxton says. “And so a lot of us waste years holding onto stuff because we don’t want our dead mother to get mad at us.”
Paxton remembers one client who was struggling to chuck her grandfather’s boxers. “We’re literally holding onto our dead grandfather’s underwear, which sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud,” Paxton says. If this is you, recognize that you’re just having magical thinking when you worry you’ll be dishonoring them by not keeping everything they ever owned. Think of it this way: Would you want someone hanging onto your undies?
Give each family member a treasure chest
As you’ve probably noticed, not everyone in a family has the same attachment to stuff … or opinion on what’s a treasure vs. trash (see: Pokémon cards and flatscreens that no longer work). Paxton has a practical solution: In his family, each member gets their own locker, where they can store whatever they want. “What you put in your locker is nobody’s business,” he says. “It just can’t spread beyond your private storage into family space.” An easy variation: Give everyone in your crew a large storage tub to keep in the attic or basement.
Upcycle it
Upcycling is the perfect way to take something that was once special to someone you loved and make it relevant for you right now. Inherited jewelry that isn’t quite your taste? Take it to a local jeweler and reset it to your liking. You can make it into something else entirely: An ornate pearl brooch can become simple earrings. Upcycling works with passed-down furniture too. Reupholster Grandma’s wing chair or settee in a modern fabric you love and you’ll have a piece that reflects Grandma and you. Or strip your great aunt’s mahogany dresser and finish it with a nontoxic sealant to have a raw wood piece that feels more your vibe.
One of the best ways to upcycle is to take a relative’s favorite everyday item and turn it into a meaningful new treasure. Paxton worked with a family who transformed the grandfather’s beloved flannel shirts into a pillow for each grandchild. As he notes, “It’s just a really cool way to keep the memory going.”
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Sources:
- Matt Paxton, author of Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff, cleaning expert on Hoarders and host of Filthy Fortunes; phone interview, March 12, 2026
- Sarah Seung-McFarland, PhD, therapist who specializes in the psychology of design; email interview, March 12, 2026
- Tracy McCubbin, founder of dClutterfly and author of Make Space for Happiness: How to Stop Attracting Clutter and Magnetizing the Life You Want; phone interview, March 9, 2026
- Brides Across America: “How to Donate a Dress”
