31 Pig Puns That Will Make You Snort

If you're hog-wild for pig humor, you've pigged the right place.

According to a recent “gallup” poll, a lot of people are fond of horse jokes. Of course, plenty of people think cow jokes can be udderly bovine. Still, others wonder “waddle” it takes to get the duck jokes rolling. As for ourselves, we’re oh-pun to pretty much any kind of animal-related humor (including sheep puns that are perfect for ewe). However, at this very moment, we hap-pun to be all about the pig puns. Not pig pens, mind you, pig puns. Nothing against pig pens, of course, it’s just that we’ve found that most pigs prefer pencils.

Pig-ture perfect parenting

1. According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.

2. What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.

3. What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.

4. Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.

5. If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.

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Adulting for pigs is never boar-ing

6. Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.

7. When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.

8. When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.

9. When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.

10. Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.

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Pig Puns I A Boar Yourd.com, Getty Images

11. What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”

12. What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?”

13. Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.

14. What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.

15. What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”

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Leisure time for pigs

16. What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.

17. How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.

18. Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.

19. What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.

20. Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.

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Pig Puns A Pig Ment Of Your Imaginationrd.com, Getty Images

Pig religion and culture

21. What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”

22. What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.

23. What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.

24. What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.

25. What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.

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Pig psychology

26. Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.

27. What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.

28. What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.

29. How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.

30. What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.

31. Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.

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Lauren Cahn
Lauren Cahn is a New York-based writer whose work has appeared regularly on Reader's Digest, The Huffington Post, and a variety of other publications since 2008. She covers life and style, popular culture, law, religion, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment. Lauren is also an author of crime fiction; her first full-length manuscript, The Trust Game, was short-listed for the 2017 CLUE Award for emerging talent in the genre of suspense fiction.