When it comes to making life choices, the Princess of Wales starts by asking this simple question
The royal family may not be the most relatable of Brits (they own 10 castles, after all), but even they can’t escape the stress of making important life decisions. And that’s something we all understand. Of course, when we’re debating between attending that important work event or our kid’s school play, we’re not doing it on the world stage. But for the royals, the demands of the crown, the needs of the family and the threat of public scrutiny take the stress to a whole new level.
Prince William and Catherine, Princess of Wales, are never out of the spotlight and have to balance their public duties with their private family life: They’re traveling all over the U.K. for events and flying overseas on official tours … and cheering on the sidelines at their kids’ games. Their schedule would be enough to make the most energetic of us feel frazzled.
But Kate has figured out a way to cut through the noise with one really insightful question—and it might help you too. Read on for the princess’s smart strategy for juggling everything life throws at her.
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What is the question Kate asks before making a decision?
When faced with a life decision, Kate always asks herself, “How does this work for us as a family?” according to a royal commentator. And as sensible as that sounds to any working parent, it’s a radical idea for the royal family.
In other words: The crown doesn’t come first. Kate’s priority is to be there for Prince George (12), Princess Charlotte (10) and Prince Louis (7). So if she’s faced with a royal event, she makes plans that will have as little impact on the family routine as possible.
This approach became even more important after her cancer diagnosis in 2024, says biographer Robert Jobson, author of Catherine, the Princess of Wales. “The most important thing for her is that it’s not just for her, that she’s got to be a mum for those children because those children are the next generation of the royal family,” he says.
How did she come up with this key question?
Kate’s strategy comes from her work in early childhood health. “What we experience in our childhood has a lifelong impact on our future health and happiness,” she told Giovanna Fletcher on the podcast Happy Mum, Happy Baby in 2020, explaining that a mom’s well-being is vital for her child’s stability.
The Princess of Wales revealed that she’s inspired to be there for her kids because her parents sacrificed so much for her. “I had a very happy childhood … I really appreciate now as a parent how much they sacrificed for us,” she said, adding, “they’d come to every sports match.”
So Kate, in turn, is putting the littlest royals first. She avoids traveling too far from her children for too long, and she’s hands-on with their day-to-day activities. “She likes to do the school run and all those things,” royal expert Katie Nicholl recently told The Mirror. “From my conversations with aides, once a royal trip or engagement is planned, the first thing they ask before looking at the itinerary is, ‘How does this work for us as a family’?”
Despite the planning, the princess still gets hit with “mom guilt” all the time. “Anyone who doesn’t as a mother is actually lying,” she said on the podcast. “It’s a constant challenge. You’re always questioning your own decisions and judgments. I feel huge responsibility.”
Why is this such a smart question?
Kate’s question keeps her priorities straight by ensuring all engagements fit around her role as a mother—not the Princess of Wales.
The royal calendar is jam-packed. Between them, members of the royal family are patrons of around 1,000 charities. Kate, in particular, is a patron of the Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood, the Victoria and Albert Museum, SportsAid and Wimbledon (for starters), and she serves as Colonel of the Irish Guards. If she accepted every invitation, she could easily find herself working seven days a week and traveling around the globe.
When Kate and William became parents, they decided to do things differently. Instead of accepting every invitation and attending every event, they focus on key campaigns and initiatives, such as the Earthshot Prize and Centre for Early Childhood.
“I’m trying to do it differently … I’m doing it with maybe a smaller r in the royal, if you like,” William told reporters in 2024, explaining that he wants to focus on a few projects that deliver bigger impacts. “It’s more about impact philanthropy, collaboration, convening and helping people. I really care about what I do. It helps impact people’s lives.”
While the British media have criticized Kate and William for being “work-shy,” they’re determined to do it their way.
According to The Telegraph, in 2025, King Charles undertook 533 engagements, becoming the hardest-working royal of the year. Princess Anne followed him, with 478 events, while William did 202 engagements. Kate, on the other hand, attended only 68 events, including Trooping the Colour, Wimbledon and the Carol Concert she hosted in December. (Of course, she was coming off a year of battling cancer!)
How is this different from royal parenting of the past?
William and Kate’s approach is the opposite of royal parents in the past, who had to put their official duties ahead of their children. The late Queen Elizabeth II, for example, left 1-year-old Charles at Sandringham for Christmas in 1949, when she traveled to Malta to be with Prince Philip. The following Christmas, 4-month-old Anne stayed behind too. And in November 1953, Elizabeth and Philip undertook a six-month tour of Australia and New Zealand, leaving 5-year-old Charles and 3-year-old Anne in the U.K. The queen mother said the children would wait longingly by the telephone.
In those early years, Charles forged a loving bond with his grandmother and his nanny, Mabel Anderson, whom he later called “a haven of security, the great haven” to biographer Jonathan Dimbleby.
Is Kate the first royal mom to do things like this?
Sort of, but she’s building on the parenting blocks that Princess Diana put in place. “I hug my children to death,” Diana told Andrew Morton, author of Diana: Her True Story. “I get into bed with them at night, hug them and say, ‘Who loves them most in the whole world?’ and they always say, ‘Mummy.’ I always feed them love and affection. It’s so important.”
She would take William and Harry on “normal” family days out: They’d scream their way through a theme park. They’d hole up in the family den in Kensington Palace, hanging out and watching videos. But most important, she’d schedule around school events. “Family is the most important thing,” she said. “I live for my boys. I would be lost without them.”
This “positive parenting” was radical in the ’80s and ’90s, but now Kate has taken it to the next level, rejecting the old rules of working royal parents. She and William are determined to do things differently, working smarter, not harder, to ensure their children have as stable an upbringing as possible.
And it seems the public approves: According to the latest polls by YouGov, the Prince and Princess of Wales are the most-liked royals in the family, with around three-quarters of Brits seeing them in a positive light.
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Sources:
- Robert Jobson, author of Catherine, the Princess of Wales; in-person interview, September 2024
- Happy Mum, Happy Baby: “The Duchess of Cambridge on the early years”
- The Mirror: “Kate Middleton question says everything about how she sees royal kids”
- BBC: “‘Smaller R in royal’ – Prince William wants to do things differently”
- The Telegraph: “King overtakes Princess Anne as hardest-working member of Royal family”
- Diana: Her True Story in Her Own Words by Andrew Morton
- YouGov: “Royal family favourability trackers, January 2026”
