He doesn’t pay for the first date
As forward-thinking as our single women and our experts are, they all agree, nevertheless, that the man should pick up the check on the first date. “It’s simply the universal sign that this has been a date,” explains Dr. Madden.
Even if the woman makes more money? “Even if she makes more,” according to Dr. Madden. “Yes, there’s probably going to be a moment where she’ll reach for the check out of politeness, but if a man doesn’t grab that check away and pay it, himself, he’s acting like this isn’t a date. If it’s a date, a man should act like it.”
Film producer and singleton, Karen M.C. Kane sees it as a matter of respect. “Women want to feel valued by the man they’re involved with. If a man doesn’t want to pay for the first date, he’s sending a message that he values his wallet more than he values her.”
“Women want to date men who hold similar values to their own,” says relationship expert Monique Honaman. “Massive incompatibilities regarding fundamental values should be deal-breakers.” Those incompatibilities can include:
- how you handle money
- your religious beliefs
- your political views
- where you stand on having kids
- how you feel about pets
“I write about eating disorders and recover,” blogger Hall says, “so if you make fun of a mental health issue on our date, I’m going to assume that not only do you not mesh with my career choice, but you’re also not a nice person.”
“For me, I can tell a lot just by noticing how he treats my cat,” says the thirty-something singleton from Chicago. “How he treats my cat is at some point how he’s going to treat me. More to the point, says 28-year old single nutritionist, Arielle Simonis, “if he’s not an animal person—if he actually says he’s not an animal person—I get off that train as fast as I can.”
Did you know that looking at pictures of puppies can do wonders for your relationship?
He’s pushy about sex
“Women want to date someone who is attracted to them and vice versa, but when a man won’t keep his mouth shut about how much he wants to bed her (ahem, on the first date), best keep looking,” says Simonis, who sees it as a bad sign about his intentions. And if he won’t stop groping you? Run, says dating expert and spiritual consultant Rappaport.
Once things get consensually intimate, there are other potential deal-breakers. For example, a lack of chemistry or a lack of compatibility when it comes to sexual proclivities. Even worse is when a man gets kinky without asking first, according to author Evie Vane. “If he tries spanking, bondage, or rough sex without asking, he’s likely to get the boot.”
Assuming things are going well on the intimacy front, consider tapping into your secret sexual strength, based on your zodiac sign!