14 Funny Photos of Grocery Store Items No One Wants to Panic-Buy

Toilet paper? Get real. Brown rice? Aisle 7.

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Aren’t these photos hilarious?

In a time of unprecedented crisis, Americans are willing to do anything to survive so long as you don’t make them eat plant-based. Sure, supermarkets are emptied daily of toilet paper and chicken cutlets, but there are more flax seeds in Aisle 7 than there are grains of sand on Earth right now.

Dasani

Out of all the bottled waters on the market, Dasani tastes the worst, please don’t ask me to explain. When you twist the cap off it hisses like Mountain Dew. Here are 45 stock photos you won’t be able to unsee.

Chocolate hummus

Look. Either be chocolate or be hummus, you don’t get to be both. I didn’t even know this existed prior to this and think we should leave it in the pre-pandemic world. This is what food shopping looked like 100 years ago. Leave it there.

Plant-based protein

Look, my plants are my closest friends right now, so I guess I would be reluctant to eat those too.

Hawaiian pizza

Loose translation: Even at the height of panic, human beings haven’t completely lost their minds. Pineapple on pizza—so polarizing. Like mushrooms or the American electorate. If lonely pizza doesn’t crack you up, these 50 photos are bound to.

Corona (the beer)

Imagine being the CEO of Corona beer and being like wait, the what virus? These confounding photos of everyday objects will annoy you to no end.

Manhattan Clam Chowder

Honestly, they’re right to do it. Let’s be careful with the use of the word “plague” though. Here are 28 perfectly timed photos you’ll wish you took yourself.

Unsalted potato chips

Girl, not even on my darkest day. Not even at my lowest point. Not even under quarantine. I would eat astronaut food first. These 20 funny Google searches will make you wonder who’s asking these questions, anyway.

Cinnamon raisin bagels

I would eat the cinnamon raisin bagels… Might not even slice and butter them. I’d just bite into them like an apple.

Gluten-free bread

Honestly, good! Leave it for the gluten-free people. They’re not eating gluten-free bread because they enjoy it! Use these 21 new games and apps to pass the time instead of eating all the gluten-free bread.

Cauliflower pizza crust

If you ever try to tell me that you can substitute cauliflower for something that’s not another piece of cauliflower and it tastes the same, your credibility flies out the window like a paper napkin on the highway to hell.

Shrimp ramen

The chicken ramen, however, is a delicacy. I would trade three barrels of oil for one cup o’ chicken noodles.

Peter Pan peanut butter

Are people snobs about peanut butter brands? Is that a thing? That’s nuts.

Hot dogs

Hot dogs, when boiled in the questionable water of a pull-away street cart at an amusement park, baseball game, or simply the sidewalk, are gourmet actually. Since you would be subjected to preparing these in your home right now without those elite conditions, this actually makes sense to me.

Peeps cereal

This was…one of God’s accidents, I have to assume. Here are funny photos of other massive kitchen fails.