16 Hilarious One-Star Reviews of the Dictionary
Updated: Jun. 01, 2020Haters mad. Naysayers indignant. Skeptics incensed. Detractors apoplectic.
From aardvark to zygote
Ah, Amazon reviews. The apex of literary criticism. Follow these readers as they trek through the oeuvres of Merriam, Webster, Oxford, and Urban, whose work has influenced precisely every subsequent book. For reference, here's how words get added to the dictionary.
Worst book I've ever read
"This book is by far the worst story I’ve ever read. The plot is near non-existent, not a single character stays relevant for more than a paragraph, the book is almost exclusively exposition and world-building. There’s almost nothing to keep you engaged, the author clearly doesn’t understand how to tell a cohesive story. I would not recommend this to anyone who values literature! >:(" -via Amazon/customer review/Thomas Willis. Ever wonder how long it would take to read the entire dictionary like a novel?
One star
"Sexism demonstrated frequently in the volume. Will never buy again." -via Amazon/customer review/JohnS. Here are the funniest Amazon reviews of all time.
Great...for a kindergartener
"The scope of verbiage comprising this dissatisfying tome is wholly insufficient for my intended exploits." -Amazon/customer review/Karen B. I'm not entirely convinced all of these words aren't fake. Those do end up in the dictionary sometimes!
Was not happy
"Was not happy. Per everything I have researched this book was supposed to have “Yooper” in it and did not. Spent my money for nothing." -via Amazon/customer review/Tina Terry. Yoopers be danged, here are 15 other slang words you didn't know were in the dictionary.
The word "gullible" has been removed
"Not recommended. The word 'gullible' has been removed. In this day and age of computers and digitized content, one must ask how this occurred?" -via Amazon/customer review/Peter Samson. Here's what Airbnb reviews would look like for fictional places.
The definition for yuck is...
"How many ways can I say yuck? Let me look it up. Just not with this dictionary." -via Amazon/customer review/Daisy Allen. Can you answer these 14 dictionary questions from Jeopardy?
Words, words, words
"There’s no plot. No storyline. No protagonists. It’s just words, words, words." -via Amazon/customer review/Eva Mattingly.
Look that up
"It sucks. Look that up." -via Amazon/customer review/Tri Samurai. Here are 13 everyday products that got terrible reviews.
Band of boobs
"Steven Pinker and his band of boobs have destroyed what was the best American English dictionary available." -via Amazon/customer reviews/Michael D. Mcgee.