The Funny Way 20 People Learned the Truth About Santa Claus
Spoiler alert: Santa Claus isn't real. But how these people found out is where things get interesting—and hilarious!
Secrets and lies
"When I first started reading, I had a habit of learning all sorts of inappropriate information from books," confesses Dr_Methanphetamine. When Dr__Meth read somewhere that Santa wasn't real, he confronted Mom, only to be told, "Yeah, it's true, but you better keep pretending so your sister doesn't find out." Thus began one of the deepest, darkest episodes of Dr_Meth's childhood. OK, maybe that's an exaggeration, but keeping that secret was a lot harder than his mom probably guessed.
Insult to injury
"I stayed up all night peeping under my door," Gibbs 2724 recalls. "I had a clear view of the tree when I spotted Pops unloading the goods." That had to hurt. But not as much as the fact that Pop didn't even eat the cookies the family had left for him. "He just crumbled them a little and threw pieces away."
Not a good hiding place
One year, TheyUsedtheLampPoost got a bike for Christmas. From Santa, of course. But then one day soon after, TheyUsedtheLampPost saw the bike's instruction manual sitting on a shelf in the hall closet, and that was the tipoff because it's the spot his parents always hid stuff.
An unexpected reaction
Southagermican was just a wee child of four when he spied his dad sneaking into his room with a big package. "I pretended to be asleep, and the next morning I pretended to still believe because I thought it was important for my parents that I believed it." And Southagermican was actually happy to know it was his parents picking out his gifts, as opposed to a stranger.
Another way to keep your kids from finding out Santa's not real
What's the best way to ensure your kids will never find out Santa isn't real? Never let them believe it in the first place. That's what OnlySane1's parents did. Find out the 20 best-ever Christmas songs.
They forgot to tell him the most important part
Batben93 was told by his family as soon as he was old enough to understand, that Santa wasn't real. What they forgot to tell him was that everyone else in his kindergarten class thought Santa was real and that he might cause a problem when he walked into the classroom and announced, "Santa isn't real and that's a fact." Oops.
That awkward moment when Grandpa's a snitch
"The year I found out Santa wasn't real I had planned to hide my tape recorder under the sofa so I could get him on tape," says Blu3Army73. The problem was that Blu3Army73 confided in his grandpa, who told his dad. The next morning there were no presents under the tree. Instead, there was a letter from Santa saying he didn't bring presents for kids who didn't believe in him. Grandpa! How could you!
But Santa IS real
"Santa is real," explains monowedge. Or he was. "He may have died long ago, but he was a real guy. The only thing that isn't real about Santa is the myths surrounding him, but the tradition of today follows that of a real person." Here are some other cool facts you probably didn't know about the holiday season.
In all fairness, we did say, "spoiler alert"...
"My age today, you heartless spoiler." - Erasmuslongfellow, in reply to the question "How old were you when you learned the truth that Santa wasn't real?"
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt
"I don't understand this question, and I don't want to understand it." - Redditor Asoupo. Well, denial is an effective defense mechanism. Next, find out the gentlest way to break it to your kids that Santa isn't real.