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25 Hilarious Animal Names That Are Way Better Than the Real Ones

Honestly, someone get me in touch with the CEO of naming things.

Portrait of LynxTambako the Jaguar/Getty Images

Let me upgrade you

Did anyone consult with the animals prior to naming them? Imagine being called a sea ravioli while other animals get to be called things like "sable" and "lynx." What kind of perverse name lottery is this?

Aggressive scorpionEcoPic/Getty Images

Scorpion: Air fried lobster

Seriously! It’s just a lobster that’s been overcooked a bit, the sand is just a little hotter. Tad dry for my taste. Here are 50 funny animal pictures you need in your life.

American Bison Standing On FieldTami Morrissey / EyeEm/Getty Images

Buffalo: Fluffalo

This was a serious, serious oversight in the naming department. Someone’s getting fired. If you thought that pun was on the nose, then these dog puns will definitely give you paws.

Capybara with Tyrant HitchhikerJoe McDonald/Getty Images

Capybara: Guinea big

Capybaras are the biggest rodent on earth—beavers stay coming in second place. They are also closely related to actual guinea pigs, so this is especially fitting.

Close-Up Of Peacock With Fanned Out FeathersJohannes Spahn / EyeEm/Getty Images

Peacock: God’s favorite

Imagine your defining characteristic as an animal being that you are just so beautiful? Like that’s just your thing? It’s like peacocks showed up refreshed and chipper at 7 a.m. at the beauty store while everyone else stumbled in tired and hungover. That's why they're allowed to just roam all over zoos and the other animals can't. Here are 10 of the craziest things zookeepers have seen on the job.

Nine-banded Armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus) walking through grass, Florida, USAEnrique Aguirre Aves/Getty Images

Armadillo: Possums on the half shell

Do you know how hermit crabs outgrow their shells and scuttle nude to find a new one? That’s what possums do with oyster shells to evolve into armadillos. That being said, DO NOT EAT THEM!

Eastern Hognose Snake Fakes Death With Oscar - Worthy PerformanceBarcroft Media/Getty Images

Eastern Hognose Snake: Mood snake

These snakes will roll over and do absolutely everything in their power to convince you they are dead when threatened, to which some might say, “same.” Check out the strangest animals found in every state.

Crinoid hover over Reef, Comantheria sp., Alam Batu, Bali, Indonesiaullstein bild/Getty Images

Crinoid: Fashion fern

Crinoids may be in the starfish family, but they’ll be damned if starfishes are the only stars in this fish family. These things glamourous and they will let you know it. 

Horseshoe Crab Heading to the Water after Laying EggsGregory Adams/Getty Images

Horseshoe crab: Ocean Roomba

These things are just scooting around the ocean floor: *vroooooooom* *bonk* *swivel*.

Kangaroo Carrying Joey On FieldRene Becerril / EyeEm/Getty Images

Kangaroo: Hop pocket

Did you hear the lady singing the tune from the commercial as you read this?

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