27 Things Your Pizza Guy Won’t Tell You

Love pizza? Get smarter about service with our list of things pizza delivery people wish you knew before dialing in your order.

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It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment

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My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Just make sure it's not the worst pizza topping of all time.

We know when kids are prank-calling us

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They can’t mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don’t.

Accidents happen

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If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I’ll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right. That's not even our worst offense; listen to these dirty secrets restaurant kitchen crews won't tell you.

Patience, please

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It takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house. While you're waiting, meditate on all the ways being patience improves your health.

Why won't we deliver to some neighborhoods?

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In some neighborhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, “Rob me! I have cash!”

I'm a human being

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When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it’s not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.

Use your manners

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When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It’s basic cell phone etiquette that most people forget to follow.

Before you open the door,

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I’d prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order

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If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars’ worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I’m going to have a problem with that. By the way, here's how much you should tip delivery drivers when the weather's bad.

The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet

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The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what we go through. In fact, a recent study revealed how Americans really tip.

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