21 Anti-Jokes You Can’t Help but Laugh at Anyway
Trading traditional humor for groan-inducing literal punch lines, these anti-jokes challenge the idea of what a joke can be—and we bet they’ll still make you laugh.
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”
The magic of anti-jokes is that you’re expecting a clever or punny punch line, but instead, the punch line is as anti-climactic and literal as possible. As eye-roll-inducing as they can be, these jokes take the very idea of what a joke is and turn it right on its head. Here are some of our favorite anti-jokes that are funny by accident.
Helium walks into a bar.
He orders a drink and wonders why his parents decided to give him such an unusual name, as he can never find it on personalized souvenirs. Plus, baristas never, ever get it right.
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No, “to whom.”
Loving these anti-jokes? Here are some more jokes every grammar nerd will appreciate.
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear. (Learn the secrets to telling a great joke, straight from stand-up comedians.)
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody?
A lot. There were three movies, and a couple short films too. (For more laughs, don’t miss these bad puns.)
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
David Cohen 156/Shutterstock
They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
Check out some more of our favorite “walks into a bar” jokes.
What’s a vampire’s favorite food?
Vampires aren’t real.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it.
Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good.
What did one Frenchman say to the other?
I have no idea; I don’t speak French.
What do you call a cross between…
…a joke and a rhetorical question?
(Credit: Reddit user Jesus_The_Super_Jew)
Two muffins are sitting in the oven.
One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here.” The other one says, “Sure is. Probably about 350 degrees Fahrenheit.”
(Were you expecting another punch line from this anti-joke? Well, we’ve got that joke, too.)
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A blonde is a living person with a specific hair color, and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used in the sport of bowling.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.
Move over, anti-jokes. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you might just be a genius!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
None. Historians believe that most pirates were most likely illiterate.
These clever jokes will instantly make you sound smart.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
Ricardo Maldonado Rozo/Shutterstock
He gets treated with great respect, since he’s such a talented actor.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.
Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Roses are red, violets are blue…
…but roses can also be many other colors, including yellow, pink, and white; and violets actually look more purple than blue, hence their name.
Next, check out these 30 hilarious short jokes anybody can remember.