36 Math Jokes to Get Every Nerd Through Pi Day
Celebrate March 14—aka Pi Day—with these corny math jokes, puns, and one-liners. Don’t worry: Unlike pi, it won’t go on forever.
Like my favorite middle-school teacher always said: The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are just basic. (But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.)
If you are cringing right now, you know how my entire 8th grade math class felt every day. However, it is important to know a few good, short jokes for every occasion—even if only the smarty pants in the room will get them. In honor of Pi Day (3/14), here are 30+ math jokes guaranteed to multiply your enjoyment on this nerdiest of days. (Check out these hilarious nerdy quotes, too!)
Why should you never talk to pi?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
Because he’ll just go on forever.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
Because they can’t even.
For more laughs, here are 25 clever jokes that will make you sound smart.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
A cow pi.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
It was three feet deep on average.
Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
Because you should never drink and derive.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
A roamin’ numeral.
Three statisticians go out hunting together.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out, “We got him!”
Did you hear the one about the statistician?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
How do mathematicians scold their children?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
Old mathematicians never die.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
They just lose some of their functions.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
To get to the same side.
What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
It just becomes beer.
Why do mathematicians like parks?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
Because of all the natural logs.
Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”
Parallel lines have so much in common.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
It’s too bad they’ll never meet.
Why should you never mention the number 288?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock
It’s two gross.
Why was the math lecture so long?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Because the professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why can math books be so depressing?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Because they’re filled with problems.
When is math like poetry?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
When you do an in’verse variation.
Math is a part of nature.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Especially geometry (geome’ tree.)
What kind of math do you learn in English class?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Add-verbs and add-jectives.
What’s the best way to woo a mathematician?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Use acute angle.
If you like these math jokes, you’ll love these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
The moon’s not made of cheese.Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
It’s a pi in the sky!
What do you need to grow your trigonometry skills?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Don’t miss these 25 corny jokes perfect for National Tell a Joke Day.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What’s the best way to visualize infinity?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
With a pi chart!
What kind of snake does your math teacher own?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
What TV show can help you grasp infinite numbers?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
What’s the ideal way to serve pi?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
A la mode! Anything less is mean.
Where should you do your math homework?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
On a multiplication table.
What’s the best formula to get from point A to point B?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Where do mathematicians party?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
In bar graphs.
How do you do math in your head?Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
Use imaginary numbers.
Don’t let advanced math intimidate you!Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.com
It’s as easy as pi!
Next, don’t miss these 15 fascinating facts behind the mystery of Pi.