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The 18 Funniest Things People Have Ever Said—While They Were Sleeping

"Mother! Fetch me my cape!"


I once told my ex I had to push the plants deeper into the plant pots, while simultaneously pushing her out of bed with both hands. —Ninja_Guin


I once heard a friend say, "Just put it in the washing machine, and all your wishes will come true." —RelentlessBlount. Not technically inclined? Check out these funny science jokes.


My boyfriend, who is a horticulture major and works hybridizing roses, suddenly grabbed my arm in his sleep and said in a rather suggestive voice, "Sooo… are any of your seedlings repeat bloomers?" —Reddit User


From my boyfriend: A really big exasperated sigh followed by "Pants with buttons. GROSS." —cheshire_brat


My wife: "It's OK honey, it's just the light. You don't really look like a girl" —lotsalotsacoffee. Learn from the experts with recommendations from the best comedy writers of all time.


My ex talked in her sleep a lot. One time that really stands out, she said, "If you paint it pink, it'll be worth more and last longer." —electricballroom. 


Was traveling Australia with my girlfriend. She chuckled and said, "It's so simple. We get the koalas to do the washing up." —ashpow. Think animals are funny? Don't miss these hilarious bird photos.


According to my friends, they had asked me a question not realizing that I was asleep and I responded with, "just put it in the iTunes refrigerator." —VelocityRAPTOR33


My Dad: "Oh no! Burritoed!" —mandlebar. Then fill your comic arsenal with these short jokes anyone can remember.

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