14 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays
These witty words will have you laughing all the way through the holiday season.
On the reason for the season
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. —Bart Simpson. Nothing like some funny Christmas quotes to remind you what Christmas is really all about.
Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. —Dave Barry. These funny Christmas quotes are so relatable, it’s scary.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “toys not included.” —Bernard Manning. The good news is, they can be used with practically any toy (sold separately, of course).
On office Christmas parties
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. —Phyllis Diller. Coworkers just wanna have fun. Here are some funny work cartoons to get you through the week.
On holiday food
Nothing says holidays like a cheese log. —Ellen DeGeneres. Oh Christmas cheese, oh Christmas cheese, how lovely are thy platters.
On believing in Santa
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. —Shirley Temple. She should have taken that as a compliment!
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. —Victor Borge. Stop by their house, eat some cookies and milk, give out presents, and leave on a magical sleigh. It’s a win-win for everyone. These are the top Christmas movies guaranteed to get you into the holiday spirit.
On the birth of Jesus
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. —Andy Borowitz. These funny Christmas quotes are making us see this holiday in a whole new way.
Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call. —Richard Lewis. Their thoughts on menorahs are unclear.
On Christmas music
I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough. —the 20 best Christmas songs ever—ranked.We don’t want a lot for Christmas. There’s just one thing we need. These are
On holiday weight gain
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. —Unknown. Well, when you put it that way…
On gift giving
Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins, right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?” —18 funny Christmas jokes that will make your holiday merry.At least get a matching Christmas sweater. Don’t miss these
On the Christmas aftermath
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. —Andy Rooney. If you loved these funny Christmas quotes, be sure to check out these 20 funny Christmas cartoons for hilarious holidays.
On the spirit of Christmas
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. —Melanie White. Their Christmas card says, “Bah humbug!” Next, don’t miss these 20 funny Christmas cartoons.