This weekend “Will be whiter than the Oscars,” The New York Post prophesied hours before Winter Storm Jonas dumped more than two feet of snow across 20 Eastern and Southern states. Faced with one of the biggest blizzards ever to hit New York City and Washington D.C., millions of afflicted citizens locked themselves indoors and responded to the storm with the gravity it deserved: by cracking jokes on Twitter. Here are some of our favorites.
Name of The Beast…
So… Winter storm JONAS is coming. This is awkward.
— Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) January 21, 2016
“Of course the other big story right now is Winter Storm Jonas, which could drop over two feet of snow on parts of the Northeast. Meteorologists say Winter Storm Jonas wasn’t that strong until it left its brothers, Joe and Kevin.” —Jimmy Fallon
Preparing for Snowmageddon…
An old woman in the grocery store just bought eight large tubs of cottage cheese; no two blizzard preps are the same, we are all snowflakes
— #rachelsyme (@rachsyme) January 21, 2016
I bought wine & a bag of avocados so I’m pretty sure I’m totally prepared for the blizzard.
— Alie Martell (@aliemartell) January 21, 2016
People are so panicked about the blizzard that my Whole Foods is completely out of arugula. :-(
— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) January 21, 2016
Store’s already sold out of water & batteries so I guess I’ll just stock up on sympathy cards & sole inserts.
— not a guy (@NicCageMatch) January 22, 2016
Braving The Storm
“The Snow Gods reserve special contempt for those who don’t respect their ability to bring human activity to a standstill,” David Dudley wrote in the New York Times. “A snowstorm rewards indolence and punishes the go-getters, which is only one of the many reasons it’s the best natural disaster there is.”
Glad the snow gives my parents and me something to talk about besides why I’m alone!
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) January 23, 2016
I taped a Weather Channel logo on our living room window. It’s like having an extra TV.
— Chris Pinckney (@cpinck) January 23, 2016
Good news: Prepared for the winter storm by buying plenty of food I ate last night while drunk.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 23, 2016
NYC could be wiped out by an ISIS dirty bomb/blizzard/zombie outbreak and I guarantee at least one of my Chinese places will be delivering
— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) January 21, 2016
This Bears Repeating…
As some of you may know, no single joke is more satisfying than this footage of a panda at Smithsonian’s National Zoo playing in the snow and LOVING it: