42 Hilarious Classroom Stories Guaranteed to Give You a Laugh

You don’t have to be a teacher to laugh at these true tales — but haha quotient may make you wish you did.

My students aren’t afraid to ask questions

NarongchaiHlaw/Shutterstock"How do you spell toad?" one of my first-grade students asked.
"We just read a story about a toad," I said, then helped him spell it out: "T-O-A-D."
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: "I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday."

This is one teacher's brilliant strategy to stop bullying.

My students don’t care what anyone thinks about them

Dean-Drobot/ShutterstockAfter a day of listening to my eighth graders exchange gossip, I decided to quote Mark Twain to them: "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

After considering my words, one of my students asked, "What does it mean to remove all doubt?"

My students understand biology

Victoria-Chudinova/ShutterstockDuring my eighth-grade sex education class, no one could answer the question "What happens to a young woman during puberty?" So I rephrased it: "What happens to young women as they mature?"
One student answered: "They start to carry a purse."

These are things your child's teacher won't tell you.

My students have all the answers

wavebreakmedia/ShutterstockTeacher: What is an evangelist?
Student: Someone who plays the evangelo.

Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.

Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at 6:45. How long was Mira at the library?
Student: Not long.

Teacher: What do we call a group of stars that makes an imaginary picture in the sky?
Student: A consternation.

Teacher: List up to five good facts about Abraham Lincoln.
Student: After the war ended, Lincoln took his wife to a show.

Content continues below ad

My students are intent on improving their english skills

Joanna-Dorota/ShutterstockFor 98 percent of the students at the school where my wife teaches, English is a second language. But that didn’t stop them from giving her Christmas cards. Still, their enthusiasm for the occasion sometimes exceeded their grasp of English. Among the many cards that flooded her desk were: "Happy Birthday, Grandma," "Get Well Soon," and "Congratulations on Passing Your Driving Test!"

Teachers truly play incredible roles in student's lives. Read this heartwarming story.

My students are charitable

itakdalee/ShutterstockWhen our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal’s office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. It read "Please give $1 to help stop child abuse in the front office."

My students are confounding

Andrey_Popov/ShutterstockWalking through the hallways at our middle school, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"
Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"
He lifted his head and replied, "I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."

My students are strivers

Syda-Productions/ShutterstockJust before the final exam in 
my college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached me.
“Can you tell me what grade 
I would need to get on the exam 
to pass the course?” he asked.
I gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”
“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”

Content continues below ad

My students have ideas

zkruger/ShutterstockFor Martin Luther King Day, 
I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”

My students are inquisitive

Dragon-Images/ShutterstockSpotted on Facebook:
Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did 
I do on my research paper?
Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the 
sentences you apparently 
kidnapped in the dead of night 
and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.

My students are appreciative

Monkey-Business-Images/ShutterstockI recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites. You were mean to everyone.”

My students are honest

Asier-Romero/ShutterstockDuring my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way.
"Look at me," I said. "My eyes are so bad, I need to wear glasses. Because I can barely hear, I need a hearing aid. And look at my ears—they’re much bigger than they should be."
From the back, a boy added, "And your nose too."

Content continues below ad

My students are understanding

Nickolai-Repnitskii/ShutterstockWhen our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?"
The third grader opined, "Because she’s read all our books?"

My students are buttinskis

Monkey-Business-Images/ShutterstockWhen a nosy fourth-grade student wanted the scoop on what another teacher and I were discussing in private, I decided it was time for an impromptu lesson in manners.
"Do you know what ‘minding your own business’ means?" I asked pointedly.
He didn’t, but a student clear across the room shouted, "I do!"

My students can teach me

Syda-Productions/ShutterstockWhile reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than (>) and a less-than (<) sign on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?"
A boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward and the other means rewind."

My students are worldly

Syda-Productions/ShutterstockMy father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1,500 at a given time.
Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I’m not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it."

Content continues below ad

My students are creative with language

Dean-Drobot/ShutterstockGauging from these exam 
excerpts, my college dance students had better stick with pliés.
• “The costumes were vindictive 
of the style of dance.”
• “I commend Bill T. Jones for 
his acts of true kindness and selfishness.”
• “Dancers must have long limps.”
• “At first, I had a hard time understanding and interrupting his movement.”
• “Savion Glover’s purpose is to cross all racial and ethical barriers with his dance.”

My students keep me out of trouble

Feel-good-studio/ShutterstockA police car with flashing lights pulled me over near the high school where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students began to drive past. Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to admonish me for speeding.
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told him I was.
"I think you’ve paid your debt to society," he concluded with a smile, and left without giving me a ticket.

My students call it like it is

GagliardiImages/ShutterstockI had finished my English lecture and my class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed 
behind to confront me.

“I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he told me

I was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what the ‘oxy’ part means, but I know what a ‘moron’ 
is, and you looked straight at me when you said it.”

My students think I'm old

SpeedKingz/ShutterstockPerforming Mozart should have 
been the highlight of my middle school chorus class. But after a few uninspired attempts, an exasperated student raised her hand and said, “Mrs. Willis, we want to sing music from our generation, not yours.”

Content continues below ad

My students think I'm a fraud

Juan-Ci/ShutterstockTo my German-language students, I’m “Frau Draper.” One girl gave me 
a pin she’d made with my name on it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t big enough to include my entire name, which meant that she presented me with a badge that read FRAUD.

My students are clever

parasolia/ShutterstockI recently asked a student where his homework was. He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”

My students understand the wealthy

Nik-Waller-Productions/Shutterstock“Don’t do that,” I said when one 
of my first graders playfully draped 
a dollar bill over his eyes. “Money 
is full of germs.”

“It is?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s very dirty.”

He thought about it a moment. 
“Is that why they call people who have a lot of it ‘filthy rich’?”

My students love finally getting it right

Lopolo/ShutterstockJimmy had trouble figuring out when to use I instead of me. Then one day, while creating a sentence in front of the first-grade class, Jimmy haltingly said, “I ... I ... I shut the door.” Realizing that he was right, he jumped up and down and shouted, “Me did it!”

Content continues below ad

My students will always find a way to get my attention

Africa-Studio/ShutterstockMy sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second. It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?” 
“Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?!”

The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said, 
“Um ... Cyndi?”

My students communicate well

Phimsri/ShutterstockDuring the driver’s ed class that I teach, a student approached a right turn.

“Use your turn signal,” I reminded her.

“No one’s coming,” said the 
student.

“It doesn’t matter. It might help those behind you.”

Chastened, the student turned around to the students in the backseat and said, “I’m turning right up ahead.”

My students are logical

SunKids/Shutterstock“Who discovered Pikes Peak?” I asked an eighth grader. He shrugged. “All right, here’s 
a hint,” I continued. “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?”

“Grant?” he asked 
tentatively.

“Good. Now, who 
discovered Pikes Peak?”

“Grant!”

My students are thoughtful

Michaelpuche/ShutterstockOn the last day of the year, my 
first graders gave me beautiful handwritten letters. As I read them aloud, 
my emotions got the better of me, and I started to choke up.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m having a hard time reading.”

One of my students said, “Just sound it out.”

Content continues below ad

My students are problem solvers 

Michelle-Lee-Photography/ShutterstockThe kids were painting a project for social studies and got some paint on the floor. Fearing someone might slip, I asked a student to take care of it.
A few minutes later, a piece of 
paper appeared on the floor with 
the words Caution—Wet Paint.

My students are sassy

sharshonm/ShutterstockDuring snack time, a kindergartner asked why some raisins were yellow while others were black. I didn’t know the answer, so I asked my friend, a first-grade teacher, if she knew. “Yellow raisins are made 
from green grapes, and black raisins 
are made from red grapes,” she 
explained.

One little boy suggested, “Maybe that’s why she teaches first grade, 
because she’s just a little bit smarter than you.”

My students believe people can transform into insects

JakubD/Shutterstock“In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis,” I said to my sophomore English class, “a man, discontented with his life, wakes up to find he has been transformed into a large, disgusting insect.”

A student thrust her hand into the air and asked, “So is this fiction or nonfiction?”

My students are realists

TizianoPappalardo/ShutterstockFor Columbus Day, I assigned my third-grade class the task of drawing one of Columbus’s three ships. I had no sooner sat down when a boy came up with his paper, which had 
a lone dot in the middle.

“What’s that?” I asked.

He replied, “That’s Columbus, way out to sea.”

Content continues below ad

My students think I look like a clown 

Kzenon/ShutterstockAs I welcomed my first-grade 
students into the classroom, one 
little girl noticed my polka-dot blouse and paid me the ultimate first-grade compliment: “Oh, you look so beautiful—just like a clown.”

My students don't remember my lessons 

Rawpixel.com/ShutterstockHalfway through the semester, I discovered that a student was retaking my course, even though he’d gotten an A- the first time through. When I asked him why, he had no recollection of having taken the class before.

“But you know,” he said, after mulling it over, “I thought some of this seemed familiar. I just couldn’t remember where I’d heard it before.”

My students don't understand what an autobiography is 

Silatip/ShutterstockA junior in my English class gave 
a big thumbs-down to the autobiography he’d read. His reason: “The 
author talks about only himself.”

My students confuse their g's and j's

Pressmaster/Shutterstock“I got called the g word,” sobbed 
a third-grade girl.

“OK. Let’s calm down,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Now, exactly what were you called?”

Between sobs she blurted, “G … 
g … jerk!”

Content continues below ad

My students are insightful 

When one girl had finished the 
English portion of the state exam, she removed her glasses and started the math questions.

“Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” she was asked.

She responded, “My glasses are 
for reading, not math.”

My students don't understand me

racorn/ShutterstockOur assistant principal called in 
one of my underperforming Intro 
to Spanish pupils to ask why he was having trouble with the subject.

“I don’t know. I just don’t understand Ms. Behr,” the boy said. “It’s like she’s speaking another language.”

My students provide loving homes

khoamartin/ShutterstockThe fish tank in my classroom 
was brimming with guppies. So 
I told the kids they could have some as long as they brought in 
a note from home. That’s how I 
received the following: “Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can spear, as we are going to bread them.”

My student's parents are a hand full

 Monkey-Business-Images/ShutterstockDuring a parent-teacher 
conference, a mother insisted 
I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper 
for calling her subject Henry 8 
instead of Henry VIII.

“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”

Content continues below ad

My student's parents sound a lot like them

JPC-PROD/ShutterstockA note from a student’s mother: “Please excuse Chris from reading, because he doesn’t like it.”

My students shouldn't learn from their parents

Africa-Studio/ShutterstockWhen her child’s towel was 
stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded 
of me, “What kind of 
juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!”

“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” I said. “What does it look like?”

“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”

View as Slideshow

Become more interesting every week!

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you this newsletter. For more information please read our privacy policy.