42 Hilarious Classroom Stories Guaranteed to Give You a Laugh
You don’t have to be a teacher to laugh at these true tales — but haha quotient may make you wish you did.
My students aren’t afraid to ask questions
“How do you spell toad?” one of my first-grade students asked.
“We just read a story about a toad,” I said, then helped him spell it out: “T-O-A-D.”
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: “I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday.”
My students don’t care what anyone thinks about them
After a day of listening to my eighth graders exchange gossip, I decided to quote Mark Twain to them: “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
After considering my words, one of my students asked, “What does it mean to remove all doubt?”
My students understand biology
During my eighth-grade sex education class, no one could answer the question “What happens to a young woman during puberty?” So I rephrased it: “What happens to young women as they mature?”
One student answered: “They start to carry a purse.”
These are things your child’s teacher won’t tell you.
My students have all the answers
Teacher: What is an evangelist?
Student: Someone who plays the evangelo.
Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at 6:45. How long was Mira at the library?
Student: Not long.
Teacher: What do we call a group of stars that makes an imaginary picture in the sky?
Student: A consternation.
Teacher: List up to five good facts about Abraham Lincoln.
Student: After the war ended, Lincoln took his wife to a show.
My students are intent on improving their english skills
For 98 percent of the students at the school where my wife teaches, English is a second language. But that didn’t stop them from giving her Christmas cards. Still, their enthusiasm for the occasion sometimes exceeded their grasp of English. Among the many cards that flooded her desk were: “Happy Birthday, Grandma,” “Get Well Soon,” and “Congratulations on Passing Your Driving Test!”
Teachers truly play incredible roles in student’s lives. Read this heartwarming story.
My students are charitable
When our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal’s office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. It read “Please give $1 to help stop child abuse in the front office.”
My students are confounding
Walking through the hallways at our middle school, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?”
Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Can I help?”
He lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker.”
My students are strivers
Just before the final exam in my college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached me.
“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.
I gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”
“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”
My students have ideas
For Martin Luther King Day, I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”
My students are inquisitive
Spotted on Facebook:
Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?
Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.