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34 Funny Butterball Hotline Calls to Share This Thanksgiving

Your turkey troubles are nothing compared to these real calls the Turkey Talk-Line experts have answered.

Happy Thanksgiving concept. Phone with dial screen and beautiful Pumpkin with bright autumn leaves, acorns, nuts, berries on wooden rustic table, flat lay.Bogdan Sonjachnyj/Shutterstock

Saving Thanksgiving

If you've seen a ghost, you call the Ghostbusters. If you're terrified of putting a dried out turkey on your holiday table, you call the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, which is available to help concerned cooks through December 24. Many of the questions remain the same (How long does my turkey need to defrost? How often should I baste?) but the methods with which those in turkey turmoil get in touch with Butterball's experts has expanded. For example, users can simply say, "Alexa, ask Butterball…" to enable the Butterball Skill for Amazon Alexa. And there's even a text option (844-877-3456) in its third year. Of course, the tried and true way to get help is to call 1-800-BUTTERBALL (1-800-288-8372). If you're afraid your question will sound silly, get a load of these hilarious stories from the Talk-Line's frontline. If you think you're a pro at all things Thanksgiving, find out if you know which pie is actually America's favorite.

 

Close up of a slow cooker working on kitchen shelfDevrim PINAR/Shutterstock

Crockpot central

The slow cooker is an extremely useful kitchen tool that is well worth the counter space it consumes. However, a California cook took her appreciation of the crockpot to new levels one Thanksgiving. This particular caller preferred breast meat. To ensure she had plenty at her Thanksgiving feast, she borrowed nine(!!!) slow cookers from her family and friends. Worried a fuse might blow because of the many contraptions in use all at once, she called the Turkey Talk-Line and they calmed her fears. If she did blow a fuse, she could always use an alternate Talk-Line recommended method to prepare those turkey breasts: the oven, grill, or air fryer method! Though if you do want to cook your bird in a slow cooker, we have tips.

adorable happy laughing little caucasian boy in plaid shirt talking by cell phoneRuslan Shugushev/Shutterstock

Kiddie callers

For frazzled Thanksgiving cooks, Butterball's expert help is no laughing matter. But for the kids in the house, it's all about the jokes. Periodically, the Turkey Talk-Line receives funny phone calls, like a call from some very young boys who wanted to share a joke they thought was pretty darn hilarious.

Q: What is the turkey's favorite black-tie event?

A: The Butter Ball

It's a good thing the experts have a sense of humor!

For more laughs, check out these funny turkey jokes.

Hungry cat with green eyes looking and waiting for fooduzhursky/Shutterstock

Meow mischief

The parents of a newly married couple arrived at their home for their first Thanksgiving meal as newlyweds. One of the dads noticed the turkey thawing in the sink in cold water with a dish drainer and a rubber mat on top of it all. Her dad inquired why she was thawing the turkey that way. She said that was the way her mom thawed the bird. The mother's response: "Well, yes, but we had a cat!" Whether you have a pet who is at the ready to attack your turkey or another food fail, these are easy fixes to some common dish dilemmas.

A stack of blue and red "Hello, my name is" name tags or badgesMike Flippo/Shutterstock

Name game

We've heard of people naming their cars, bikes, or even a laptop, but there's at least one person out there who takes the idea of naming their stuff to another level. According to a phone operator with the Butterball Talk-Line, one caller names her turkey every year after the biggest "turkey" of the year. Wonder who gets the honors this Thanksgiving? Find out what happens to the turkey pardoned by the president.

Casino slot machine, one-armed machine or fruit machine. Jackpot of triple seven on reels spins.fullempty/Shutterstock

The gambler

A call came into the Talk-Line from a senior home in Pennsylvania. On the other end of the line was a gentleman who had won a turkey at the casino. Thrilled with his prize he brought it home on the bus. He wanted to know if the turkey was still safe to eat even though it had thawed out a bit on the ride. If you're not quite as lucky, these 10 tips will help you buy the perfect bird.

Yellow pool float, ring floating in a refreshing blue swimming poolStacieStauffSmith Photos/Shutterstock

Pool party

One year a man called using the Talk-Line as more of a confessional, not really asking a question. He was letting the expert on the call know that, in his experience, the cold water-thaw method doesn't really work. Curious, the Talk-Line operator asked what he meant because they use that thaw method all of the time at Butterball. His response: "I put it in the pool and when I came back it was missing." If you're feeding a crowd this year, here's exactly how much turkey to make per person.

Woman telling secret by talk to the phoneCHAjAMP/Shutterstock

Family feud

A few years back Butterball received a call from a young woman who was cooking her first turkey. Both the woman's mother and her mother-in-law were there, disagreeing over the proper way to cook the turkey. So, on the sly, she decided to call the Talk-Line and get Butterball's opinion. When the expert told her the Butterball method of cooking she was so relieved because her mother had, in fact, been right. Steal these Thanksgiving traditions to make your day even more special.

toy ducks in bubble bathMaria Dryfhout/Shutterstock

Double duty

A father in charge of thawing the turkey and bathing his toddler twins decided to hit two birds with one stone. “We could hear water splashing in the background, and turns out he has his kids and the turkey in the tub all at the same time,” says Nicole Johnson, Talk-Line co-director. The man was calling to find out if the bath water would be an acceptable method for thawing the turkey. If you're hosting this holiday, be sure to buy these products that can fix any Thanksgiving emergency. 

a freezer packed with chicken, soup and various frozen foodGraham Hughes/Shutterstock

Turkey treasure

After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his dad’s freezer, an Alabama man called the Butterball hotline to ask about the best way to cook the 30+-year-old bird. Although the Talk-Line staffer recommended the open roasting pan method to cook most turkeys, this time she suggested that the first step was to purchase a fresher fowl! This same gentleman also had in his freezer: the top of his wedding cake and a snowball from every snowstorm he'd experienced in Alabama.

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