Q: What's the traditional way to celebrate?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." —Jon Stewart
Here are some lies you've been told about Thanksgiving and the Pilgrims.
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Q: What's the #1 lesson of Thanksgiving?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." —Johnny Carson
Avoid a Thanksgiving like this by staying away from these 10 topics of conversation.
Q: What to do with leftovers?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out." —Nicole Hollander
Don't let these funny Thanksgiving quotes fool you: there are plenty of great recipes for Thanksgiving leftovers.
Q: Where's the worst place to be on Thanksgiving?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." —Kevin James
Q: How do you stuff your bird?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak." —Phyllis Diller
You may know not to do that, but you'll probably make these Thanksgiving mistakes this year.
Q: How can you best celebrate the day after Thanksgiving?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online." —Kumail Nanjiani
Q: How much gravy is too much?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." —Erma Bombeck
Q: What do we do on Thanksgiving?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’" —Jim Gaffigan
Q: How do Canadians celebrate in America?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that." —Howie Mandel
Q: Too much turkey?
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock"If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself." —Mitch Hedberg
Watch out for these 7 myths about turkeys that could ruin your Thanksgiving.