20 Jokes Every Grammar Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. (Love bar jokes? We got you covered!)
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “To.” “To who?” “Actually, it’s to whom.” (Get a chuckle out of these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.)

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe? A: They’re too possessive
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers? A: Subordinate clauses
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, "Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"? She was having contractions.

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com "Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral." —Demetri Martin (Loved this joke? Have a laugh at these clever math jokes.)
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words? A: A Thesaurus

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate? A: The noun declined.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out. It could spell disaster.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet? Nobody knew why.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it? A: Short

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi? A: “There, their, they’re.”
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.” I said, “Who, me?”

Content continues below ad

Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com I before e... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor
Jokes-All-Grammar-Nerds-Will-AppreciateTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
" —Anonymous
View as Slideshow

Become more interesting every week!

Get our Read Up newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you this newsletter. For more information please read our privacy policy.