20 Jokes Every Grammar Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

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The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

(Love bar jokes? We got you covered!)

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Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.

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“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“To.”

“To who?”

“Actually, it’s to whom.”

(Get a chuckle out of these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.)

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Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?

A: They’re too possessive

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Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

A: Subordinate clauses

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Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, "Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"?

She was having contractions.

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A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

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"Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral." —Demetri Martin

(Loved this joke? Have a laugh at these clever math jokes.)

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Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?

A: A Thesaurus

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Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?

A: The noun declined.

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Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

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I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

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Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.

It could spell disaster.

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When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?

Nobody knew why.

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Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?

A: Short

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Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

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Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi?

A: “There, their, they’re.”

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When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”

I said, “Who, me?”

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I before e... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor

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"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
" —Anonymous

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