When I owned a dog, I was convinced that he and I could communicate. I thought that if I talked to him in a slow and reasonable manner, he would somehow suss out what I was trying to say, which was usually along the lines of “Please don’t pee on the carpet.”
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It turns out that my dog Phineas was not fluent in English. It wasn’t even a second language. In fact, he probably understood cat, squirrel, and pigeon better than he did English. Or, just as likely, he grasped everything I was saying and was simply ignoring me. Why, he no doubt reasoned, should he put on his booties to go outside when there was a perfectly good rug inside on which to relieve himself?
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Years of frustration might be the reason I love this tape from the BBC: Walk on the Wild Side. BBC humorists have put words to wildlife videos with hysterical results—check it out.
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