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25 of the Funniest Excuses Ever Uttered

Your bad? Fine. Just don't follow it up with one of these lousy lines...

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You call that an excuse?

We've all tried to come up with a believable excuse instead of just accepting defeat at some point in our lives. Some people are good at it and others crack under the pressure and blurt out something that's clearly a lie. We explored this Reddit thread to find some of the lamest (and funniest) excuses that people have ever uttered. 

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Can't lie to family

My cousin once called out of work because of a "death in the family." I was her boss. If you're thinking of calling out of work too, check out these hilarious, real excuses people used to call out of work.

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Stolen towels

From my coworker: "I don't need a ride today, I'm not coming to work. Someone stole my towels from the laundry room and I'm going to track them down."

Rear View Of Female High School Teacher Standing At Front Of Class Teaching Lessonmonkeybusinessimages/Getty Images

Quidditch practice

People at my high school used to tell a teacher that they had to leave early for Quidditch practice. Yes, she let them leave and apparently hadn't heard at all of the sport, but she wasn't from around here. These are the most cringe-worthy things HR reps have seen from job applicants

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Muffler on the wrong side

My former roommate, on the phone with his boss, "I can't make it today. My muffler… is to the left." If you actually want to get away with calling out of work, this is the best excuse.

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Can't hear correctly

My coworker on why he was late: "I Q-Tipped my ears last night, and went too far into my left ear. My alarm was on the left side of my head in the morning, and I didn't hear it till now." He was fired shortly after. 

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Where am I?

"I got caught texting in class and told my teacher I forgot I was at school." Check out these hilarious things people believed as kids

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Fighting for my teacher

"I lost my homework fighting a kid who said you weren't the best teacher ever."

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Dreaming at work

I had someone call into work saying that they were going to be late. Why? Because they were at home sleeping but dreamed they were at work so they didn't realize they had to get up.

Group of high school boys running on a pathWoodysPhotos/Getty Images

You don't need your finger to run

"I can't do cross country today because I hurt my finger." These are the most bizarre car insurance claims ever filed.

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