May your avocados never ripen
May you spend your life in airports that are distinctly lacking in power outlets
May your favorite pen run out, and may you subsequently discover that it has been discontinued
May your videos buffer for 10,000 years
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May your coffee always be decaf
May the first Google result for your name forever be that bad poetry blog you wrote when you were 16
See more Curses, Comics, and Correll...
...in Gemma's new cartoon collection, The Worrier's Guide to Life, available now from Andrews McMeel.