A Romanian man was one of six thieves arrested for stealing $24 million worth of artwork from a Dutch museum. But he insisted that another party was even more guilty. Whom do you think he’s considering suing? A) His incompetent partners; B) the museum, for making it too easy to pilfer the art; or C) Picasso, Monet, and Gauguin for being so enticing. Answer: B. Last we heard, he was mulling it over.
After her divorce was final, a British woman filed a claim against A) her husband, for driving her to divorce; B) the judge, for gaveling too loudly; C) her lawyers, who neglected to tell her that divorce would result in her marriage ending. Answer: C. The case was dismissed.
Rather than typing facebook into his Apple computer’s browser, a Tennessee lawyer inadvertently typed f***book. Shockingly, it turned out that the site contained pornography, which appealed to the lawyer’s “biological sensibilities.” Since the snafu resulted in his becoming addicted to erotica, he’s siccing a lawyer on A) Apple, for not warning computer users against the evils of smut; B) f***book, for having a name similar to Facebook; C) Facebook, for having a name too similar to f***book. Answer: A. A lawsuit is pending.
Two men pulled guns in a Pittsburgh-area bar and went all Wild West–y. When the smoke cleared, both gunslingers were in the hospital, and one had a $20,000 lawsuit in his sights against A) the other guy, for laughing at his Shirley Temple order; B) the gun manufacturer, for enabling each man to shoot the other; C) the booze makers, for making the men stupid drunk. Answer: Actually, D. The bar, for neglecting to check that they weren’t armed. The charges were shot down.