A Rocking Political System
"Congratulations, looks like you're in office!"
"I've decided to retire from politics and devote full time to my family scandal."
"Harold is the 'margin of error' in those political polls."
Fifth Time is the Charm
"I'll only be a second. I've done this four times today."
"Isn't that the real genius of democracy? The voters are ultimately to blame."
Right to Choose
"What kind of 'moderate' do you prefer: a Democrat who sounds like a Republican, or a Republican who sounds like a Democrat?"
"How can someone who blows a hundred million on a political campaign be fiscally responsible?"
A Green War
"This should shut everyone up: energy-efficient, environmentally safe ballistic missiles!"
"Here's your problem, sir. You had your right-wing news cable connected to your left-wing outlet."
A New Breed
"They're Lawyerdoodles, bred to sniff out money and stragglers from the herd. And they don't shed."