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All the Jokes My Dad Has Made During Quarantine

I've been quarantining with my parents for weeks. As you can imagine, the humor situation has gotten out of hand.

Isabel Roy and her dadIsabel Roy/

I have now been quarantining with my parents in Wisconsin for three weeks. We may all be going a bit stir crazy, but however low our stock of toilet paper seems to run, there's one thing that's not short on supply: dad jokes. Whether they make you groan or laugh, I thought I'd share my abundance of "dad jokes" with all of you.


"Dad, can I unplug your phone? It's almost full and mine is dying?"
"No, you'll have to go to Rhode Island. "
"For a new port."

Conversations like this with my dad remind me of these working from home cartoons that we can all relate to right now.


You know what you can do with 12 tortillas?
Have a case-a-dillas.


You know there's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Don't worry, we've got plenty more short jokes anyone can remember.


What do you call 4 matadors in quicksand?

Quatro, cinco.


What do they call it when someone sues over a cake?

We're shaking our heads too. For equally bad groaners, try our collection of the corniest jokes we've ever laughed at.


When we get out of quarantine, I want to go somewhere with a bunch of cans of coke. Like Mini-soda.


"Dad, I'm going to do some yoga downstairs if you need me."
"Well, I'm glad you're adding some probiotics to your diet!"


Why was the peanut crying?

Because he was a-salted.

If you're like me and trying to get work done at home, you'll really appreciate these working from home memes that are hilariously accurate.


What does it mean when you find out the milk you just put on your Grape-Nuts has gone bad?
You've caught a cereal killer.

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