Meet the 38 Dumbest Criminals of All Time
You think they would have known to plan things out a little better.
Police in Ossining, New York were called to a mini-mart, where they found Blake Leak, 23, trying to break in. They chased Leak through the streets until both cops took a tumble. Seizing the opportunity, Leak sought refuge on the grounds of a large building. The building was the Sing Sing Maximum Security Prison, where he was promptly nabbed by a guard.
The Case of the Liquor Store Lothario
Scottish shoplifter Aron Morrison was picked up after pinching a bottle of vodka from a liquor store. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to find Morrison, though. His name and phone number were left with the clerk—after asking her out on a date. These 19 serious court cases with hilarious names (think: South Dakota v. Fifteen Impounded Cats) are guaranteed to make you laugh.
The Lowest High There Is
For a trio of drug thieves, it was their lucky day. They broke into a home in Silver Springs, Florida, and discovered three jars of cocaine. They took it home and snorted the contents. That’s when they discovered that the jars were in fact urns and that they were snorting the cremains of the victim’s husband and two dogs.
The Case of the Not-So Devoted Dad
Bring Your Child to Work Day is a long-honored tradition that allows children to see what goes on in the business world while also getting the chance to watch their parents ply their trade. One crook brought his young son along with him on a job, which happened to be robbing a pet shop. He was caught soon after, minus something important. His son.
Watch Where You’re Going!
As two men waited in line at the coffee shop to pay their bill, a third cut in front of them. He threw a drink at the clerk and demanded all the money from the till. Temporarily surprised, the men quickly recovered and handcuffed the crook. Apparently, in his rush the criminal didn’t notice they were police officers—in full uniform.
The Couple That Drinks Together …
Recently, a woman in Fresno, California, was stopped at a DUI checkpoint for being soused. Ever helpful, she offered up this info: “My husband’s right behind me, and he’s even drunker than I am.”
The Telltale Trousers
When an attempted robbery at a Lowes Home Improvement store went awry, Milton J. Hodges fled across the street and jumped a fence … right into the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort & Spa. As the Orlando Sentinel pointed out, “As one of the only folks wearing clothing,” Hodges was easily spotted by police. Check out these other 21 things a (smarter) burglar won’t tell you.
It’s the worst possible time to faint—in the middle of robbing a bank. But that’s what happened to a Beavercreek, Ohio, thief. The teller called 911 and asked for medics. But you have to applaud the man’s stick-to-it-iveness. While the ambulance was en route, the suspect handed a note to the teller demanding all her cash.
Mitchell Deslatte walked into a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, hotel and asked the clerk for a room. The clerk wasn’t a clerk—he was a state trooper. And the hotel was actually a state trooper station. That’s when Deslatte was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated. You might be breaking the law in this U.S. state where it’s illegal to swear in public.