You Need to Meet the 38 Dumbest Criminals of All Time

You think they would have known to plan things out a little better.

Previous
1/38 View as List
Next

Caught-Caught

01_Caught_The_38_Dumbest_istock/zudinPolice in Ossining, New York, were called to a mini-mart where they found Blake Leak, 23, trying to break in. They chased Leak through the streets until both cops took a tumble. Seizing the opportunity, Leak sought refuge on the grounds of a large building. The building was the Sing Sing Maximum Security prison, where he was promptly nabbed by a guard.

The Case of the Liquor Store Lothario

02_Liquor_The_38_Dumbest_istock/Esperanza33Scottish shoplifter Aron Morrison was picked up after pinching a bottle of vodka from a liquor store. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to find Morrison, though. His name and phone number were left with the clerk—after asking her out on a date.

The Lowest High There Is

03_Urn_The_38_Dumbestistock/kzenonFor a trio of drug thieves, it was their lucky day. They broke into a home in Silver Springs, Florida, and discovered three jars of cocaine. They took it home and snorted the contents. That’s when they discovered that the jars were in fact urns, and that they were snorting the cremains of the victim’s husband and two dogs.

The Case of the Not-So Devoted Dad

04_Dog_The_38_Dumbestistock/_chojaBring Your Child to Work Day is a long honored tradition that allows children to see what goes on in the business world while also getting the chance to watch their parents ply their trade. One crook brought his young son along with him on a job, which happened to be robbing a pet shop. He was caught soon after, minus something important. His son.

Watch Where You're Going!

05_Coffee_The_38_Dumbestistock/Eva-KatalinAs two men waited on line at the coffee shop to pay their bill, a third cut in front of them. He threw a drink at the clerk, and demanded all the money from the till. Temporarily surprised, the men quickly recovered and handcuffed the crook. Apparently in his rush the criminal didn't notice they were police officers—in full uniform.

The Couple That Drinks Together ...

06_Couple_The_38_Dumbestistock/pixelfitRecently, a woman in Fresno, California, was stopped at a DUI checkpoint for being soused. Ever helpful, she offered up this info: “My husband’s right behind me, and he’s even drunker than I am.”

The Telltale Trousers

07_Nudist_The_38_Dumbest_istock/LockieCurrieWhen an attempted robbery at a Lowes Home Improvement store went awry, Milton J. Hodges fled across the street and jumped a fence … right into the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort & Spa. As the Orlando Sentinel pointed out, “As one of the only folks wearing clothing,” Hodges was easily spotted by police.

P.S.—Nobody move

08_NobodyMove_The_38_Dumbestistock/simonkrIt’s the worst possible time to faint—in the middle of robbing a bank. But that’s what happened to a Beavercreek, Ohio, thief. The teller called 911 and asked for medics. But you have to applaud the man’s stick-to-it-iveness. While the ambulance was en route, the suspect handed a note to the teller demanding all her cash.

No Vacancy

09_Trooper_The_38_Dumbest_istock/RichLeggMitchell Deslatte walked into a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, hotel and asked the clerk for a room. The clerk wasn’t a clerk—he was a state trooper. And the hotel was actually a state trooper station. That’s when Deslatte was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated.

IOU

010_rob_The_38_Dumbestistock/kali9Graham Price of South Wales ripped off the bank where he worked, but he wasn’t completely duplicitous. He left a note in the safe: "Borrowed, seven million pounds"—signed "Graham Price."

Previous
1/38 View as List
Next

Become more interesting every week!

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you this newsletter. For more information please read our privacy policy.